My Life After Now - By Jessica Verdi Page 0,13

mind won’t shut up.”

“Yeah, I’m the total opposite. I’ve never been a worrier. But that’s not necessarily a good thing—things appear so cut-and-dried to me that I always think I’m right, which of course isn’t true, and I end up putting my foot in my mouth.” He paused. “You know, if we ever had kids, I bet they’d end up with a perfect mix of our two personality extremes.”

I laughed. “Oh, so now we’re having kids together, huh?”

He grinned. “Well, I think we kind of have to. Far be it from us to deny the world perfectly tempered, Shakespeare-quoting, Elizabethan fencing experts with your smile.”

After dinner, we were having such a good time that we decided to forgo the movie and instead just drive around and talk. Evan told me all about his life back in San Francisco and how after his parents’ divorce they didn’t give him a choice of whether he wanted to stay in California with his dad or move here with his mom for her new job. He told me how he joined the drama club with a few guy friends freshman year because they’d heard it was a good place to meet girls and how, by the end of the first semester, his friends had all bailed but he had unexpectedly fallen in love with theater. We talked about Ty, and we talked about Sarah, Evan’s ex-girlfriend.

“What happened with the two of you?”

“She left for college in Seattle, I came here, and that was the end of that.” He gave a quick, unaffected shrug. I couldn’t help feeling there was more to the story.

“Did you love her?”

He stared straight ahead. “I thought I did.”

I sighed. I knew what that was like.

We sat there quietly for a while, parked on a side street a few blocks away from my house, listening to the radio. It wasn’t an awkward lapse in conversation, though; it was comfortable. And after a few songs, Evan leaned over out of the blue and kissed me. It was soft and hesitant at first, but slowly grew deep and intense.

It was strange kissing someone other than Ty. Lee didn’t count, because I didn’t remember it. But Ty…I still remembered every kiss with him, from the very first to the very last. I remembered the softness of his lips and the way our teeth sometimes scraped against each other’s and how we would laugh and go right on kissing. I remembered kissing him and thinking I never wanted to kiss anyone else for the rest of my life.

Kissing Evan was different. Not bad different, just…new. I liked the way he threaded his hands through my hair and I liked the way he seemed to be exploring my kiss rather than forcing his own on me. Reacting rather than acting.

We did a pretty good job of steaming up the car windows, but Evan didn’t try anything else. That was good—tonight made me excited for my future, but I still hadn’t fully recovered from my past.

• • •

When I floated home from my date, the house was quiet. My dads had already gone up to bed, though their bedroom light was still on—I knew they were expecting me to check in with them before I went to bed. They were probably waiting to hear all about my night. The only light downstairs was coming from the living room. I went in to turn it off before I headed upstairs, but Lisa was sitting on the couch, using Dad’s laptop.

“Oh. Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

“It’s okay,” she said, closing the computer.

I gave a stiff nod and started to leave the room. But Evan’s advice echoed in my ears. Lisa didn’t deserve the effort it took to constantly avoid her. Papa did say he would kick her out if I asked him to. Maybe by this time tomorrow, she would be out of my life.

I slowly turned back around and sat in the chair opposite her.

“All right,” I said. “You have two minutes to say whatever you want to say. Make it count.”

8

Children Will Listen

Lisa took a deep breath. “I know you don’t want me here,” she said. “I guess I can’t blame you. I don’t really want to be here, either.”

So far she wasn’t making a very good case for herself. But I didn’t say anything.

“Adam and Seth didn’t tell you why I’m here, did they.” It was more of a statement than a question.

I shook my head.

“I’m pregnant, Lucy.”

My eyes instinctively