On My Knees - J. Kenner Page 0,8

get far away as quickly as possible—I know I would. But Jackson isn’t me, and I draw in a breath as I debate whether I should go up to his workspace on the twenty-sixth floor. On the one hand, he didn’t wait for me, and he hasn’t returned my texts. All evidence suggests that he wants to be alone, and I get that.

On the other hand, what he wants may not be the most important factor. I’d been royally pissed off at him not long ago, and I’d wanted to be alone, too. But Jackson had followed me to make sure I was okay.

And right now, I’m terribly afraid that Jackson is a long, long way from okay.

I thank Joe for his help, then park myself on one of the chrome and leather benches that provide seating in the lobby. I tap out one more text, then actually cross my fingers.

It doesn’t help, and after forcing myself to sit and wait for a full five minutes, I make a decision. Maybe it’s selfish, but I want to see him. No, I need to see him. I need to know he’s okay.

More than that, I need to know that we’re okay. That despite all of this shit, Jackson and Sylvia are going to be just fine.

It’s dark when I get off on twenty-six, the only illumination on the floor coming from the city lights streaming in through all the windows. The floor is only half built-out, so there are very few offices and cubicles. It’s essentially a giant square with walls of glass, and because of that, the space is reasonably well-lit, like walking beneath the glow of a full moon.

I turn the last corner, and see the newly erected glass walls that define Jackson’s workspace. He is standing by the window, and I’m struck by the similarity between his stance and Damien’s earlier position as he’d looked out over the city.

I see Jackson only in silhouette. His shoulders squared, his body rigid. I cannot see the reflection of his face from where I stand, but I can imagine it with perfect clarity. His black hair gleaming in the reflected light. His sculptured jaw tight with anger. And his blue eyes as cold as ice.

I start to walk toward him and then change my mind. Instead, I pull out my phone one more time.

If you need me, I’m right outside your office.

I hesitate, not entirely certain I’m doing the right thing. And then, once more, I press send.

I hear his phone chirp almost immediately. I watch as he pulls out the phone. As he reads the text. As he slides the phone back into his pocket.

But he doesn’t come, and as the seconds tick by, that iron band is tightening around my chest again, and I am afraid—so terribly afraid—that we are not going to survive this. Because if he can’t come to me now, how much worse will it be when I have to render the deathblow?

I stay for a heartbeat, then two, but then I cannot take it anymore, and I turn away, trying hard not to cry and not to run. Just to walk slowly and carefully, as if his silence hasn’t pierced a hole through my heart.

I’ve gone two steps when I hear him, his voice so low that it is almost lost in the hum of the air conditioner. “If I need you?”

I freeze, my shoulders stiff, my eyes squeezed tight to fight back the flood. And then, when I’m certain that I can manage it without completely falling apart, I turn to face him.

He fills the doorway, this larger-than-life man who right now is vibrating with so many wild emotions it is a wonder that he doesn’t combust under the strain of it all. But despite all of that—despite the anger and frustration that rolls off of him in waves—it is the heat I see in his eyes that seems to propel him forward. A familiar, wild heat—and it is directed entirely at me.

“If I need you?” he repeats as he strides to me, all force and power and intent. “Christ, Sylvia, don’t you know by now that I always need you?”

He is only inches from me, but he doesn’t touch me, and that small omission suddenly seems like the most important and most horrible thing in the world.

I want to reach for him, but instead I slide my hands into the pockets of my skirt. I’m afraid he will flinch away, and I am