being gone, and so far all I’d had to do was fix a few hairpins in Gloria’s mile-high updo and feed her Cheez Doodles so she wouldn’t get any orange dust on her white dress.
“I have some antacid, too,” Emily said. “Maybe you should take one of those. It might help with the burps.”
My sister hadn’t escaped getting stuck in a bridesmaid-dress-from-hell and was currently wearing a hot-pink chiffon number with puffy sleeves and a big bow in the back. Given Gloria’s fashion sense, it could have been much worse.
“That’s a pretty handy bag you’ve got there,” I said, peeking inside. It contained just about everything a bride could need. Mints, floss, deodorant, stain remover, a pair of satin slippers for when your feet gave out. “Looks like it’s got everything except a groom.”
“It’s totes adorbs, isn’t it,” Gloria said, giggling. “Shari made it for me. She gave me some white sparkly pasties, too. Tiny’s going to love them.”
“Did I hear my name?” Shari Bartholomew popped her head inside the room. “Can I come in?”
“Absolutely-positutely,” Gloria said, waving her inside the stuffy little room. “The more the merrier, as long as Tiny doesn’t see me. Don’t want any bad luck.”
“Hey, me too!” I heard my niece shout. “Can I come in? Oh, Gloria, you look like a princess.”
Judging from the oversize tiara, the mounds upon mounds of tulle, and the elbow-length satin gloves, I suspected that’s just the look she was going for. Personally, I found it a little much, especially for a courthouse wedding, but then again, the dress was free, and I was certain it looked better on Gloria than it would have looked on April Mahoney’s daughter.
Another knock sounded. “Hey, is the bride in there?” I recognized Ryan’s voice, and Emily moved as best she could to get to the door. No easy feat with so many of us crammed in there and Gloria’s dress exceeding six feet in diameter. My sister opened the door just a crack.
“She’s in here. What’s up?”
“Tiny is about ready to pass out he’s so nervous, and if he falls down, none of us will be able to lift him, so is she about ready?”
Emily leaned back and looked over at Gloria. “You ready, girlfriend?”
“So ready!” She gave Emily two thumbs up. “Let’s go get me married.”
The ceremony was brief, presided over by local judge Brian Murphy, and although Gloria and Tiny hadn’t expected many people to show at the courthouse, a crowd of nearly forty people tossed rice and birdseed and blew tiny bubbles as the bride and groom walked through the door and descended the short staircase.
“Oh, is that for us?” Gloria gasped as she spotted the white carriage covered with tulle and white roses. Two glossy black horses pranced with energy. One was wearing a top hat just like the driver, while the other sported a sassy bridal veil.
Pete the driver tipped his own hat. “Climb aboard, Mr. and Mrs. Kloosterman,” he said. “The buggy is compliments of Taggert Construction.”
I turned to Ryan, part owner of Taggert Construction. “Did you do that?”
He nodded. “I’m the best man. It seemed like it was the least I could do.”
Emily gazed up at him from his other side. “You sentimental fool. You didn’t tell me you were going to do that.”
He grinned and put an arm around her waist. “I don’t tell you everything, woman. Sometimes a guy likes to prove he still has a surprise or two up his sleeve.”
“So romantic,” Chloe sighed from her spot next to me. “I can’t wait to get married.”
I stole a glance at my niece and wondered if she’d make it down the aisle before I ever did.
The crowd watched and cheered as Tiny tried to assist Gloria and all that tulle into the coach. He finally just put both hands on her ample butt and pushed. She nearly flew out the other side, but after some readjusting and a lot of giggling, they were finally settled into the buggy, and off it went. The bride and groom turned around and waved, and I felt myself getting a little misty. They really were cute, and they really were going to be happy.
“Okay, that’s done. Let’s get drunk,” Ryan said, rubbing his hands together as the sound of the horse’s hooves began to fade and the group moved in unison toward the Imperial Hotel to start the reception.
I spotted Gigi from the corner of my eye, strolling arm in arm with Gus Mahoney. He was wearing