would stay with them for ever. But then, as is often the way in cartels, the captain and his wife were murdered over a territory disagreement. Without them around the boy was a burden and so the cartel had given him back. There had been no mention – in any of the articles I’d read – of how the boy felt about the situation. It was not clear whether he was happy to return to his family or whether he’d continued to yearn and grieve for the people he now thought of as his mother and father.
After that, whenever I watched the clip back, I noticed the split second just before his mother brings him into her arms, when he turns away, and takes a single step back, towards the disappearing people carrier. All I could see in the kid’s expression as the vehicle pulled away was loss. His family, the family coming towards him, are now strangers.
Jason scanned my face, left to right, left to right, over and over, like he was reading a book.
‘Look.’ He softened. ‘It goes without saying I’ve had a rough ride of it recently. But this is always a stressful time of year for you. You know that. It might be colouring your judgement more than you think.’
He paused, waiting for me to respond. When I refused to meet his eye, he sighed and took my hand. The ends of his fingers were smooth and nubbed. Before he was a first-aid teacher, Jason had been a welder, and the years he’d spent in the fabrication shop still showed themselves in various parts of his body.
‘I admit there have been times when I’ve recognised Barney in every lad I see. But you have to respect me when I tell you that that kid we saw in the shop wasn’t him.’
‘The boy out in Istanbul,’ I said, referring to the sighting a few weeks earlier. ‘You only saw a photo of him and yet …’
It was like I’d slapped him.
‘The police thought there was a genuine similarity,’ he murmured. ‘And so did I. The story seemed to fit.’
I looked at the part of his body that showed above the water. His loss of appetite these last few weeks was evident in the lean, drawn lines of his chest. I felt a surge of guilt.
‘You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.’ I moved forward and lay myself on top of him. The warm water was slippery between our skins. ‘I won’t mention it again.’ I took his hand in mine and as we webbed our fingers together, I ran my lips over the prow of his collarbone.
He rested his head back against the edge of the bath and once he’d closed his eyes I moved up to his neck and the point at which his stubble tapered to clear, caramel skin. Then I kissed him there, softly. He smelt of sweat and lavender bath foam. Releasing my hand, I dipped it under the water and smoothed it across the neat curve of muscle that angled from his hip to his groin. He shivered. Opening his eyes, he reached for my hand and gently replaced it back onto my leg.
‘It’s been a long day.’ He shuffled out from under me and got to his feet. ‘I’m tired.’ Water cascaded from his body.
He stepped out onto the mat and the resulting current shifted me into the recline he’d just abandoned. Without him for company the water level dropped considerably. My shoulders and chest were now totally exposed, my nipples pinking the surface.
He wrapped a towel around his waist. Smoothing back his hair, he went to leave. As he reached the door he turned back to look at me.
‘Love you, wife.’
‘Love you, husband,’ I replied on cue.
He smiled. This was a favourite exchange. And with that he was gone.
I looked down at my body. The bubbles had all but disappeared. An oily grey scummed the surface. Hoisting myself to standing, I waited until the water had drained from my limbs and then, making sure to fit my feet exactly into the two damp imprints he’d left behind, I stepped onto the mat.
Chapter Five
I arrived at my friend Carla’s new flat to find her in the middle of unpacking.
‘Perfect timing,’ she puffed, pointing at a large cardboard box stranded in the middle of the hall. ‘Give us a hand carrying that through to the kitchen.’
‘And here was me thinking you’d asked me over for the pleasure of my