‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, her voice shrill. ‘I should have realised someone like that would never be interested in me.’ She spoke without making eye contact. ‘He was so keen to come tonight, I thought it was because he wanted to meet my friends. I thought it meant things were getting serious, that he wanted to become part of my life.’ She shifted from foot to foot. ‘I am such a fucking idiot.’
‘It’s not your fault.’ My words came out as a shout and she jumped. ‘It’s just –’ I tempered my tone. ‘You brought him into our house, Carla.’
‘I know.’ Her eyes went to the pictures of the kids on the mantelpiece. She retreated towards the hall. ‘I should probably go.’
With Carla gone, Martin came into the living room.
‘How are you doing?’ he asked and sat back on the sofa without looking, straight onto my handbag. ‘Sorry,’ he said, trying to stem the tide of purse, keys and make-up spilling out over the cushions.
I noticed a flash of silver about to disappear down the back of the sofa – Lauren’s compass – and grabbed it quick.
‘It’s OK,’ I said once I’d returned it to my bag. I picked up a lip gloss that had rolled onto the floor and offered it to him. ‘Unless, of course, Candy Shine is your particular colour?’
We both laughed, relishing the light relief, but then as our laughter disintegrated we found ourselves in silence, Lauren and Barney staring out at us.
‘That journalist,’ I said after a few minutes had passed. ‘He said people are starting to forget Barney. Do you think that’s true?’
Martin turned to face me and, not for the first time, I was reminded of a schoolboy who had yet to adapt to his new, adult-size body.
‘I can’t speak for the general public, but I can tell you that I and the rest of the team have not forgotten and will not forget. We take every lead, no matter how small, very seriously; that is to say, I mean –’ he said, going red in the face. ‘What I’m trying to say is we follow them up as best we can with the resources we have available.’
‘That’s good to know,’ I said, realising I was circling around what it was I actually wanted to talk to him about.
‘When you say every lead’ – I knew I’d promised not to mention anything to Martin about the boy, but after seeing that estate agent today, I was terrified that if I waited too long they’d disappear, leaving me unable to ever find them again – ‘what exactly do you mean by that?’
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing out over the top of his T-shirt.
‘Some of the biggest cases in history were cracked because someone made sure to follow up on what was an apparently minor detail. Whether it was Peter Sutcliffe and his broken tail light or Dennis Nilsen and the blocked drains.’
‘How easy is it for you to get the team to do a background check on someone? I mean, do they need just cause, or can they do them on whomever they like?’ I fished.
‘If you’re asking me to check out that journalist from today then I can’t help you.’
‘Not the journalist.’ I stopped, not sure whether to say any more.
‘What is it Heidi? What’s bothering you?’ He pressed a hand down on his sprout of hair, flattening it against his skull. ‘You know you can trust me.’
‘Jason would kill me if he knew I was even talking to you.’
‘Come on, spit it out,’ he encouraged. He removed his hand and his hair sprang back up on end.
‘I saw this kid the other day, a boy.’ I stopped, trying to gauge his reaction. He was listening intently. Reassured, I decided to carry on. ‘There’s no other way to put it,’ I said, ‘except to say he looked like Barney.’
I waited for his eyes to narrow and readied for the polite yet sceptical response I was sure would follow.
‘What does Jason think?’ he asked quickly. I relaxed. He was taking me seriously. ‘Has he seen the child?’
‘This is it,’ I explained. ‘I was so sure, I took him there immediately. He’s certain it wasn’t him.’ At this admission I saw a small shift in the detective’s face, his excitement gone. ‘I know it doesn’t make sense,’ I said, trying to maintain his credulity, ‘but I can’t get this kid out of my head and now it seems that