realised the whole time I’d been here Tommy had made sure to keep himself positioned between me and the child. I took in his bull-like back, arms and shoulders. If I tried to get past him, he’d easily overpower me. I wouldn’t stand a chance. No, I needed to find a way to get Barney nearer to the door, somewhere that Tommy could no longer act as a human barrier. That way, if and when the time came, I’d have half a chance of being able to grab Barney’s hand and making a run for it.
‘What about you?’ I asked, struggling to understand his place in it all. ‘How did you get involved?’
He laughed and returned to the sofa.
‘Hard not to. You know what they say about family affairs.’
‘Family?’
‘Keith and Jenny are my brother and sister. Half-brother and sister if you want to get technical.’
I thought about the difference in accent between him and Keith.
‘We grew up in different parts of the country,’ he explained, acknowledging the puzzled look on my face. ‘Every holiday Dad would bring me to stay with them.’ He smiled. ‘We’ve always been close.’
I thought of the bleached-out snap in its silver frame. Tommy had said it was of him and his brother and sister: Keith and Jenny.
‘So you took care of Barney, the three of you?’
‘I was in the Navy from the age of eighteen.’ He rubbed the tattoo on his right forearm. ‘By the time I came out, Keith and Jenny had been taking care of him for a couple of years. At first, they’d made sure to move around every few months or whenever people started asking questions. But then they started to relax.’
He was starting to slur. Good. The whisky was taking its toll.
‘Mikey adores Jenny. As far as he’s concerned, she’s his mother. And he loves his brother and sister. He’s happy.’
I wanted to scream at him. To rail and shout about how much unnecessary heartache they’d caused. To make him understand that their selfishness had ruined Jason’s and Vicky’s lives. It galled me, but I had to keep my mouth shut. I gave him the sweetest smile I could.
He reached out to stroke my cheek.
‘We raised him and loved him like our own blood, Heidi, you have to know that.’
But, I thought, he wasn’t your son to raise.
‘So you haven’t hurt him,’ I asked, working hard to keep the bite out of my tone. ‘Keith and Jenny haven’t hurt him?’
He recoiled, shocked at the suggestion.
‘We would never do that. We wanted to protect him.’ His voice dipped an octave. ‘We’d do anything to keep on protecting him.’
My veins felt like they were slowly being lined with concrete. Concrete that would harden and expand, busting me up from the inside out. I nodded and took his hand in mine. I’d worked it out. I’d realised the only way I might be able to get the boy closer to the door.
‘Why come back to the North-East after all this time, to where he was first taken? Surely that was asking for trouble?’
‘We had no choice. Keith and Jenny are from round here. Their mum was diagnosed last year. Liver cancer. Stage four. They were desperate to come and be with her for the final months. I knew it would be risky, but what can you do, it was their mum.’
‘Was?’
‘She died last week.’
‘And Keith and Jenny?’ I asked. If my plan was going to work then I needed to make sure they weren’t due to turn up here at any moment or that they were waiting downstairs in the car park. ‘Do they know you’re here with me? Do they know that I know?’
‘Jenny knows nothing about any of this and Keith never recognised you. He has no idea who you are. He doesn’t read as many papers as I do.’
‘But where are they now?’ I asked, anxious for specifics.
‘They’re staying here tonight, in the hotel. Jenny’s at work. Late shift. Keith’s got some mates over to watch the football.’
‘Look,’ he said, misreading the expression on my face. ‘You don’t need to worry. I’m going to talk to Keith and Jenny, explain your connection, assure them you can be trusted. I know you’ve had the odd wobble. Totally understandable. But you’ve more than proved yourself.’
The reason I thought I was here kept shifting. Tommy wanted to introduce me to Keith and Jenny. That meant he thought I was still on side. He hadn’t brought me here to hurt me. But what would