My Grumpy Old Bear - Jayda Marx Page 0,61
was that I wished Noah was here to see this, which just made my chest ache and my stomach turn.
“Yeah, it’s me.” His hand twitched nervously until he held it out for me to shake. “It’s good to finally meet you.”
I gripped his hand and a million emotions and thoughts crashed through me. I’m seeing my son for the first time. I’m touching him; this is real. He seems happy I’m here. How did he recognize me? Has he forgiven me? Will he talk to me? Is this a one time thing?
“It’s good to meet you too,” I finally said after shaking his hand and staring at him like a moron for who knows how long. “God, I just...I can’t believe you’re here, Jonathan.”
“Actually, I go by Jay,” he replied with a shrug.
Jay. My knees went weak and I had to catch myself from falling to the ground. It can’t be.
My son released my hand and looked around. “Where’s Noah?”
My stomach clenched. This can’t be happening. I can’t finally be getting a chance with my son just to find out he’s been fucking my boyfriend. Is this payback? Did Noah know who he was?
“How do you know Noah?” I managed to ask without puking my guts onto the sidewalk.
“We met a couple of weeks ago,” he started, and I stumbled over to the side of the building, bracing myself against the cool bricks. “Jesus, are you okay?”
“No,” I replied, wrapping my arms around my queasy stomach. “You and Noah are…?” I couldn’t finish the question, but Jay’s disgusted expression said he got the jist.
“What? Of course not! That’s fucked up, dude.” I’m not sure what he saw on my face, but he quickly added, “Being gay isn’t fucked up. I meant being with Noah when he’s dating my old man.”
My heart soared when I heard Jay claiming me as his father, but dropped when I remembered the message from earlier. Thank you for your honesty about the old man. My overwhelmed mind spun in twenty different directions and I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. “How did you two meet?” was the best question I could form; hopefully it would help put some puzzle pieces together.
“We met at the mall a couple of weeks ago. I sat down to lunch and Noah came right up to me and asked if my name was Jonathan. He said he needed to talk to me about my dad. Long story short, he told me all about you and how great you were. He basically begged me to give you a chance, and I agreed to meet with you both here. Noah suggested that he be here too in case things got awkward.”
Things were definitely awkward. Within two minutes of meeting my son, I accused him of having sex with my boyfriend. Well, ex boyfriend. Oh god, what did I do? “Why didn’t he tell me any of this?” I thought out loud.
“I asked him not to,” Jay admitted. “I was kind of on the fence about coming. I didn’t want to upset you if I backed out. He hated keeping a secret from you, but I made him promise. He’s a good guy. And he thinks you basically walk on water.”
“Oh god, I fucked up, Jay,” I said, scrubbing my hand over my face. “I fucked up so bad.”
“Hey, I fucked up too,” he shrugged. “This isn’t all on you. We all made mistakes; you, me, Mom...I just want to move forward.”
I’m ready to move forward with our relationship. Jay wasn’t talking about his and Noah’s relationship; he was talking about a father/son relationship. My stomach rolled again. Jay was standing here telling me everything I ever longed to hear from him, and I couldn’t fully enjoy it because I’d messed things up so spectacularly with Noah.
“That’s what I want too, Jay. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t care about the past; we can’t change it. I just want to get to know you.” I sighed and looked at the entrance to the restaurant. “I know you were expecting a fancy dinner, and I swear to god I’ll bring you back here or wherever else you want to go, but I can’t tonight. I’ve got to check on Noah. I’m not trying to run out on you, but-”
“What’s wrong with Noah?” he interrupted, looking concerned.
I let out a long breath and told him everything that happened. His eyes widened with every word. Once I was done reliving the shit show, he