tongue. He’d vowed to shield her from all fear and uncertainty so he swallowed the secrets like a bitter poison.
‘It’s better for you this way,’ he said, keeping his tone even.
Yan Ling pulled away. There was nothing left to do but watch her go.
She paused before stepping out into the courtyard. ‘You speak of boundaries between us, my lord.’
His breath caught as he looked at her. She drew herself up and faced him without wavering and Fei Long realised that they hadn’t taught her a thing. Yan Ling’s poise and strength came from within.
‘We’re not master and servant, but you and I will never be equals,’ she said with infinite sadness. ‘These boundaries between us exist because you insist that they must. It is impossible for you to see any other way.’
Chapter Fifteen
Yan Ling opened the door to her chamber and slipped quietly inside. She wanted to close her eyes and be alone. She wanted to sleep and sleep so this could be over and the hurt would be done. There was no use fighting against the stars and the moon. Fei Long wouldn’t be Fei Long without his rigid sense of responsibility.
She gasped when something moved within the dark of her room.
‘It’s me,’ Dao whispered.
A single flicker of light appeared behind the painted screen. There was a shuffling sound as Dao came out from the sleeping area. She carried a single candle upon a holder, which she set upon the tea table.
‘I’m so glad you’re back.’ Dao took hold of both of her hands, squeezing them tight.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Promise me. Promise you won’t fall in love with him.’
Love.
She’d never dared to even think of it, but her pulse skipped at the mention of the word. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Oh, don’t pretend.’ Dao glared at her, irritated, but still concerned. ‘Fei Long and the way he looks at you.’
Yan Ling started to deny it again, but she would only be met with scorn. How many hidden glances had they exchanged? How many times had she pondered and ached for him? So many lost moments that amounted to nothing.
‘There is nothing between us, Dao,’ she said, resigned.
‘Is that true? Really?’
‘Yes. Nothing.’
She couldn’t keep the bitterness from her voice. Dao released her hands and let out a breath. For a moment, Yan Ling considered that Dao might have been jealous, as fervent as her warning was, but the girl had never shown any special feeling for her master. No one could hide her emotions so well.
‘Why are you so worried suddenly?’
‘I know how these things always end.’ Dao pulled Yan Ling onto the couch beside her. ‘These noblemen. They’re cultured and refined. They say all the right words to lure you into their beds, whispering promises of security and marriage. In the end, you’ll have nothing but scandal and ruin.’
Doubt crept into her. Dao’s warning seemed to echo Fei Long’s words. There was something there—a pain buried deep.
‘Dao, are you telling me…?’ Could she have been so wrong about Fei Long? She was horrified, but she had to know. ‘You…and Fei Long?’
‘No!’
Relief flooded her.
‘Not Fei Long.’ Dao lowered her voice. ‘The elder Lord Chang…and my mother.’
Yan Ling sat stunned.
Dao turned away, blinking rapidly. ‘Fei Long doesn’t know. No one knows.’
‘You mean Lord Chang never recognised you as his daughter?’
Dao shook her head. ‘He allowed us to remain in his home, which was generous. Do you know how many servant girls are forced out by jealous wives when they’re discovered to be pregnant?’
Yan Ling had no memory of her parents. She didn’t know if they had abandoned her deliberately or had come upon some misfortune. Dao had known her father, yet she had grown up with the shame of his denial. Even Fei Long tended to overlook her.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Yan Ling said, her heart in every word.
Dao sniffed once. ‘That is all past. It doesn’t matter, but I can’t bear to see this happen to you. You must know how fortunate you are.’
Yan Ling kept on hearing these words. This was best. She was fortunate. Her future was bright. Everyone believed so but her.
‘Fei Long wouldn’t shame me like that,’ she argued. ‘He’s been nothing but honourable.’
Too honourable, except for the one moment of precious scandal when he’d kissed her as if he’d die if he didn’t have her. They’d both been wrong together and it had been magnificent.
‘Oh, Yan. It won’t be a sinister seduction like some lurid play. Lord Chang will be handsome and charming. He’ll woo you.’