Fei Long couldn’t resist looking to Yan Ling once again at the height of the scene. Her gaze was fixed on the stage, face upturned. The halo of the lanterns illuminated her so that he had no choice but to see.
They had spent every moment together for the past few weeks, on the road and then at his home and yet he hadn’t seen. They had shared meals, slept in close quarters, and he had never noticed. She was just a teahouse girl. A grey shadow. A stray kitten.
Now Yan Ling seemed too far away. He wanted to be next to her so they could watch the adventure unfold. She would whisper questions to him. What does the story mean? Who does that figure represent? And he’d answer. He’d make up answers just to have something to say to her.
He’d fooled himself into thinking Yan Ling was reserved and unassuming. She was so conscientious about her lessons, anxious over even the smallest of mistakes. Seeing her like this reminded him of how she’d been during that first journey. She had been endlessly curious and eager until he’d stolen the light from her eyes.
Perhaps he needed to remind himself of his duty to the empire and to her. By summertime, she would be gone, sent to some faceless Khitan lord in the untamed grasslands of the north.
Fei Long turned back to face the stage before she could notice his unseemly attention.
Bai Shen finished his dance with a dramatic thump of his spear as he stood to attention, the courageous maiden ready for war. The audience applauded loudly, then the drums beat out a pounding staccato as the troupe scattered to set up for the next scene. Bai Shen, the incorrigible creature, turned to them and winked. Fei Long could hear Yan Ling’s laughter just over his shoulder while he sat in isolation, unable to share in it.
He was the only one not in disguise that night, yet he was the one hiding.
* * *
After the show ended, he tried to impress upon Yan Ling that it was late and they needed to return, but she insisted they find Bai Shen.
‘We have to tell him how wonderful he was,’ she said.
‘He may hear that too much already,’ Fei Long replied drily.
She was already trying to weave her way through the crowd towards the stage and having little success. He caught up with her easily while she stood on her toes, trying to search around two tall men blocking her path. It was impossible to resist Yan Ling in her exuberance.
‘Come along,’ he conceded. ‘I know where to find him.’
They circled the stage area to the far end of the gardens to exit through the rear gate. The streets on this side of the gardens were quieter. Sounds of celebration from the main thoroughfare remained an enticing murmur in the distance.
It had been a few years, but Fei Long was able to navigate his way through the hutong alleyways to the familiar entrance. Performers slipped in and out through the gate, but no one paid the two of them any attention as they entered.
The courtyard had the same hapless appearance he remembered, with shrubbery that was overgrown and clinging to life. The complex was divided into many small apartments where the actors and musicians of the theatre troupe stayed. Laughter and lively conversation echoed from within the depths of the building. Spirits were high in the wake of a successful performance.
‘Bai Shen’s chamber is at the west end,’ he told Yan Ling. ‘Far away from the rising sun, he always said. I’ve put him there enough times after a night of drinking.’
‘What interesting times you two must have had in your youth.’
Fei Long had no desire to drag out those stories. He shot her a cryptic look and proceeded to the apartment situated in the western corner. The door was open and light streamed from it. For propriety’s sake, what little propriety could be preserved, he held her back while he looked into the room first.
‘The illustrious Fei Long!’ Bai Shen crowed. He stood before a dressing table and mirror, still in full costume.
‘Someone wanted to tell you what she thought of your performance.’
At his signal, Yan Ling came bounding in excitedly. ‘Bai Shen, you look so pretty.’
Bai Shen did a half-turn to show off the jade-green robes. ‘And you, young sir, look quite handsome.’ He nodded at the servant’s robe with approval.