imperial court and all of Changan, but this is my burden to bear.’
‘The imperial court could have you beaten for disobedience. They could denounce your family and strip you of everything.’
The enormity of it left a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach. After his triumph that morning, she would have thought Fei Long would fight to keep what was his, honour be damned.
‘I have to go,’ she choked out. It made her sick to say it.
‘I won’t let you do this for me.’
‘Not for you.’ She couldn’t look at him. Her body went numb. She needed to be somewhere else, to be someone else to do this. ‘For Dao. For Old Man Liang and the stable boy. For this house.’ And for Fei Long. For his ancestors as well. Could he ever understand? This had become her family as well. ‘I won’t let you give up everything you’ve fought for.’
He reached for her, resting his forehead against hers just as he’d done in the archery park, but there was something different in him this time.
‘If I wasn’t certain before, then I know it now. I know it in my soul.’ His voice grew thick with emotion. ‘When you refused to run away with me, you all but denounced me as a coward.’
‘That wasn’t my intention—’
He silenced her by holding her tighter. ‘You were right. And I realised there were two things I would face ruin for rather than giving up without a fight. Our family home is one. The other is you, Yan.’
‘But you could lose everything,’ she whispered.
‘I’ll face the foreign ministry and the imperial court with head high.’
He lowered his mouth to hers, pouring all his sincerity and intention into a single kiss. ‘Stand beside me,’ he said.
Fei Long was fearless, and she wanted to believe he could succeed.
‘Yes,’ she said when he lifted his head. ‘Always.’
She’d seen Fei Long achieve the impossible, fighting through pain and despair to triumph. If he had enough hope to carry them, then so would she. She tilted her head to return his kiss. At that moment, the chamber door swung open.
‘Exactly as I thought!’ Dao charged into the room, a blue-grey blur, eyes blazing.
Yan Ling sat up and shrieked in surprise, while Fei Long had enough presence of mind to grab the blanket and wrap it around her. Of course that left him fully exposed. One glance at his nakedness and Dao’s eyes widened in alarm. She turned sideways, blushing furiously.
‘This is my private chamber,’ Fei Long admonished.
‘Have you no shame, my lord?’ Dao stared at the wall, keeping her eyes averted while still pointing an accusing finger at him. ‘Using your position to seduce a maiden.’
Apparently Fei Long had no shame. At least not about being unclothed. Yan Ling threw the other end of the blanket over him so that they could huddle together beneath it with her holding one edge and he the other.
It was the first time Yan Ling had heard Dao speak so sharply to Fei Long. She wasn’t spared either. Dao pinned an accusing glare on her next. ‘And you! I thought you were more level-headed than this. I told you not to fall for Fei Long.’
‘Dao, it’s not like that.’
But it was. She had fallen for Fei Long. She’d fallen for him long before Dao or anyone could warn her away.
‘Do you know how much I envied you? If I had a chance to become a princess, I would get on my knees and thank the Goddess of Mercy,’ Dao railed. ‘Instead you let yourself be sweet-talked by…by him! Giving up a good marriage to be some man’s concubine.’
Fei Long bristled. ‘Yan won’t be anyone’s concubine. I want her as my wife.’
‘Truly?’ Yan Ling asked.
‘You must have known after all that—’ He turned to Yan Ling, only to see that the question hadn’t been addressed to him. She was looking at Dao.
‘Truly?’ she asked again. ‘You…envied me?’
Some of the fire faded, but Dao remained fervent. ‘I envied Pearl as well. I’ve barely been outside these few neighbourhoods, let alone the city. Why do you think I listened so ardently to all those stories about Khitan?’
Yan Ling looked speculatively at Dao, then to Fei Long. Then they both looked back at Dao. In contrast to her earlier scolding, she shrank before their mutual gaze.
‘What…what is it?’ she asked meekly.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The procession wove though the street like a dragon toward the front gate. At its head was a gilded palanquin carried by four porters. A