My Cruel Salvation (Fallen Saint # 3) - J. Kenner Page 0,66
man was a problem. He was stealing secrets from my operation and managing to interfere with a number of rescue missions. Innocent people died because of that man. And a lot of assholes who should have been shut down by now are still in existence. We’ll get them, eventually, but the people that his actions got killed aren’t ever coming back.”
Lamar leaned forward. ”I get that you have money. I get that you have power. And I even believe that you want to help the world and the people who got the short end of the stick. People who can’t help themselves and are being tortured and tormented. You have a big stick. There’s no doubt about it. But hiring killers is not the way to wield it.”
“I already said that I didn’t hire anyone. But from a purely hypothetical point of view, I’m not sure I agree with you.”
Lamar tilted his head to the side but said nothing, and Devlin took that as an invitation to continue.
“What should the wealthy do if not protect?” he asked. “Shouldn’t we give back to the community? If you have the resources to make the world a better place shouldn’t you do that?”
“Killing isn’t the way to do it,” Lamar said.
“Sometimes, maybe it is. Do you really want to condemn whoever killed Joseph Blackstone? He’s the reason Tracy is dead. Doesn’t she deserve to be vindicated?”
Lamar shook his head, his hands clenched tight on his knees. “That isn’t the way it works. I swore an oath —”
“And you are not the one who killed him. You didn’t break your oath, Detective. But deep down, aren’t you glad that he’s dead?”
“You’re damn right I’m glad. But I can be glad that a monster is dead, and still know that rules were shattered.”
“We live in a world filled with shades of gray, Detective. And someone has to stand on the line between good and bad.”
“Yes,” Lamar said. “Someone does. That someone is me and people like me, people who have sworn to protect and to serve. Not people who slink around behind the scenes, outside of the proper channels. Anarchy isn’t the answer. And neither is net value. Your bank account doesn’t give you carte blanche to make decisions for the rest of the world.”
“We’re still speaking hypothetically? I agree with you. Net value is not the test. But you have to admit that it damn sure helps with implementation. At least,” he added, meeting Lamar’s eyes, “I imagine that it would.”
Lamar sighed, his shoulders sagging. “I would have given anything, anything to have been the one who pulled the trigger and took that son of a bitch out.”
Devlin leaned back. That was not what he’d expected Lamar to say. “I understand. Believe me, I do.”
“Reciprocity, Saint. I’m pretty sure you fucked me over. I’m pretty sure you’ve stayed quiet about a whole lot of things.”
Devlin stayed perfectly still, studying the man’s face before asking, “Would you have pulled the trigger, Detective? If you’d been the one with that sniper’s rifle, would you have done the deed?”
For a moment, Lamar said nothing. Then he shook his head. “Not in a million years would I have done that. Because that’s not the way things are supposed to work. But,” he added, his breath catching in his throat, “I wish to hell I could be that man.”
Devlin stayed quiet, not sure what to say and hoping Lamar didn’t regret his words tomorrow. He was speaking from anger and grief, Devlin knew. But he was speaking the truth as well, and he might not be comfortable knowing Devlin had seen even that brief moment of vulnerability.
After a moment, Lamar sighed, breaking the silence. “I like you. And Ellie loves you. And I love Ellie. She’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”
“I know.”
“So don’t put me in an awkward position, okay Saint?”
“All right,” Devlin said. “I’ll do my very best.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
“So what was that about?” I ask Lamar as he comes down the stairs. I look past him expecting to see Devlin, but there’s no sign that he’s following in Lamar’s footsteps. I shift my attention back to Lamar and wait for him to answer.
“It was nothing. A misunderstanding. I’m just on edge.”
I move to his side and put my arms around him. “I’m so sorry about Tracy. Are you sure you should be working the case? It’s got to be driving you crazy, not being able to let it go for even a moment.”