My Big Fat Low-Fat Wedding - By Katya Starkey Page 0,21

can’t keep up. I lean forward again and start pumping the pedals as hard as I dare. I even grit my teeth in a grimacing smile. I have to, this is crazy difficult!

“Come on push!” Donna screeches as though we’re all giving birth, or something. “Shred your bike! Show no mercy!”

What the fuck? How about you show me some mercy? You stark raving mad b—

My internal cursing of the cycle instructor are abruptly halted when she finally relents. But it’s only a brief reprise before we’re all off and pedalling like lunatics once again.

This goes on for the next twenty minutes and by the time we’ve finally reached cool-down mode, I’m beyond spent.

I try not to show it though. Everyone has sat fully upright on their bikes and the pedalling pace is slow. They’ve all grabbed towels from their handlebars and begin wiping off rivers of sweat.

Damn. I really should have thought to take my towel out of my gym bag first. Now I just have to sit here with sweat pouring into my eyes as it drips down off my drenched scalp. Even though the warm-down pedalling pace is slow, I’m still sweating like a pig. I can hardly breathe and I’m thanking myself for at least having the good sense not to wear an inappropriately small sized sports bra right now. There won’t be any false alarm heart-attacks from me tonight!

Suddenly, everyone starts hopping off their bikes.

What? That’s it for the cool-down? Well I for one am definitely not warmed-down in the least. My heart is still banging like a row of firecrackers inside my chest. I scoot off my bike seat quickly though, and I try my hardest to not look like I’m gasping for air. If I were on my own I’d definitely be huffing and puffing in great gulps right now. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a wuss though, so I grab my gym bag and head out of the equipment area as quickly as my shredded legs will allow.

My footsteps are a bit wobbly, but over all I think I’ll be okay.

“So how was the class?” Kirsten stops me in the wide corridor. I can see through the glass front wall of her classroom and I’m guessing she just came away from instructing a quick Zumba dance.

“It wasn’t that bad actually.” I don’t think I’m lying through my teeth as I reply to Kirsten. “I feel quite pumped really.” This is true too. I feel extremely pumped and I know all my hard work is going to pay off. “I’ll probably lose a stone by tomorrow morning!”

Kirsten smiles at me. It seems I’ve finally managed to catch my breathe. “I hope this doesn’t mean you’ll be doing the shred class instead of coming to my Zumba now.” Her smile fades. “Seriously, Emily, Stevie is all fixed up!”

“Oh I don’t know, Kirsten. We’ll see.” And I leave it at that as I leave the gym. When I hop into my car I’m still feeling pretty good. I drive home and hop straight into the shower. After drying off and padding barefoot into the carpeted bedroom, I blow dry my hair at my vanity table, then slip quietly into bed next to a dozing Callum.

Usually I don’t mind if he wakes as it usually means we’ll make rumpy-pumpy-time. I’ve had quite enough leggy-pumpy-time already at the gym though, so I’m okay with missing out on more pumpy-wumpy anything for the rest of the night.

Chapter 6

Pain is me. That is all I am. Suffering is all I know.

“Argh, ohhh.” I awake nearly screaming. “My legs!”

“Over did it last night at the gym, did you?” Callum rolls over, smacks my bare bum and hops out of bed.

“Cal!” I rage at him. “That bloody hurt!”

“So have your revenge.” He flexes his fuzzy arse at me one butt cheek at a time. I’m in no mood for his shenanigans though and when I fail to give him a playful slap, he turns so that I’m now having to look directly up at his morning glory. “You’re really suffering, my darling?” Finally, he leans forward and kisses my forehead. “I’ll get you some paracetamol.”

And with that he whisks himself out of the bedroom.

The time it takes him to bring back a glass of water and painkillers seems like ages. I stare out the glass doors that lead out to the first floor balcony. The sky is clear, so it’s probably going to be a lovely sunshiny day. And it’s