My Big Fat Low-Fat Wedding - By Katya Starkey Page 0,2
on the hard floor, I kick it into the corner. “I wasn’t laughing at a joke, Kirsten, trust me. You don’t want me to tell you a joke. I can never remember them right and I always make a horrible mess of the punch line.”
“Ooh my gaaaaawwd.” Kirsten drawls. “So do I. I’m awful at telling jokes. I’m so bad at it that it’s embarrassing!”
I’m wondering why she’s insisting so vehemently about her inability to tell jokes, when a man walks into the workout room. For some reason the presence of this newcomer shuts Kirsten right up. I’d say I was grateful to him for that if it weren’t for the fact that I know this man and there’s always been something about him I just don’t like.
“Emily.” Oliver nods briefly at me, but even his tiny head movement is long enough to cause the harsh gym lights to glint off his completely bald head. When he glances at me again I’m put off by the strange look in his overly bulging eyes that are placed way too far apart on his face. Oliver sniffs his super slender and pointy nose, causing his stiff upper lip to curl into a brief snarl that reveals brownish buck teeth that stick out further due to his receding chin.
I’m not usually put off by a person’s appearance, apart from my own fat when I grab at it in disgust while peering into the mirror. There’s just something about Oliver’s personality that’s always made his outward features appear enhanced, as though something inside him has etched the permanent sneer upon his face.
When he barks at Kirsten sharply, I snap out of my judgmental state. Bad, Emily. I mentally berate myself. Oliver is a perfectly upstanding resident of this town. He works with Callum at CoTechnic and he’s contributed so much to the community with his devices. I really need to stop being such a judgemental bitch sometimes, but I just can’t seem to help feeling strangely defensive whenever Oliver is present.
“A word, Kirsten.” Oliver grunts and the girl peeps a quiet response that’s so unlike her personality when he’s not around.
The two of them go off to the far side of the room as more Zumba class members arrive. When Oliver finally leaves I notice Kirsten’s spirits lift immediately. “Okay everybody!” She starts squeal talking again. “Let’s get started!”
About fifteen women have turned up for tonight’s Zumba lesson. We all spread out lined up in three rows of five. I’m at the back because I don’t want anyone in front of me to go psychologically blind when they see my fat giggling everywhere as I dancersize. I absolutely despise it when we do turning moves, because then I end up in the front row for at least five Zumba moves.
Stretching my legs, I notice Kirsten speaking into the large device to her right. Actually, it’s more than just a device. It’s a robot and it’s the reason Oliver was just here. I assume he wanted to speak to Kirsten about it as it’s one of his products. The reason everyone seems to admire Oliver so much in this town is because he’s the top scientist at CoTechnic and his robot inventions have transformed small businesses in our little community.
I’ve been thinking about getting a robot myself to help around at the cafe, but I just can’t seem to work up the courage to meet with Oliver. He just puts me off for some unknown reason.
Kirsten’s Zumba robot sits at the front of the workout room. We’re surrounded by mirrors on all three walls while the entrance wall is one big window. Her robot, courtesy of Oliver, is a chrome model. A square three foot lump of a thing with ten inch speakers embedded into all four sides. When Kirsten starts up her Zumba jams the whole gym knows it due to the excruciating volume levels that she repeatedly has to be asked to turn down.
Thankfully, after Kirsten’s verbal instructions, the robot whirs on at a respectable volume. The music starts pumping out of the little device with glowing neon lights that pulse to the beat of the rhythm.
My own head starts to bob up and down a bit too. I’m jutting my chin forward and back to the beat of the music. Yeah! Here we go, I’m getting into the tunes now. Wow! I love Zumba Zumba class so much. If only Callum could see me now. I’m really working the dance steps as