My Big Fat Fake Wedding - Lauren Landish Page 0,78

could accurately pin a bug to the wall. “You heard her. Get out.”

She puts her arm around me, ushering me into the depths of the workroom. A moment later, I hear the jingle of the bells again.

“He’s gone,” Abi says, rubbing my back. “What the hell was that?”

I shake my head. “No idea. I haven’t heard a single word from him since the coffee shop, and now this.”

“What a douche canoe! No offense, but how did you ever love him? Oh, God, how did you fuck him? Please say it was missionary with the lights out. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am is the only way I think a woman could handle a guy like that. Just get it over with.”

Her outrageousness helps dry up the tears trailing down my face. I’m not sad, not even mad at Colin. It’s just ridiculous, and I feel stupid for wasting my time with him, blind for not seeing who he really is. And getting called a gold-digging whore is bound to do a number on even Lizzo-sized self-confidence.

“Is everyone saying I’m a gold-digger? I know that one article did, but is that what everyone thinks?” I ask Abi, not sure if I want her to tell me the truth.

“Who cares what they say?” she responds, and I know she’s giving me the kindness of not saying out loud what the grapevine is calling me. ‘Gold-digging whore’ is probably the kindest of it.

“I’m scared, Abs,” I confide. “I’m scared everyone’s going to find out this is all fake and it’s all going to fall apart in flames of glory. I’ll be the laughingstock of the city, and Ross will be a pariah, any hopes he has of improving his reputation at work dashed by our secret arrangement.”

There’s so much more to this now, but on the surface, that’s my fear. Fear of being found out. Because the rest of this, the emotional questions playing below that surface, are too much to face right now. I can’t consider that I might be a fool in front of Ross . . . again. And this time, it would be a devastating blow I might never recover from.

Because I’ve fallen for him. Slowly, over years, and then fast, all at once. But I have.

She traces comforting circles on my back, speaking clearly and certainly, daring the universe to not obey her commands. “No one is going to find out that it’s a fake marriage so you can both save face. You’re going to walk down that aisle and make your Papa proud for his last days, and Ross is going to get Dad off his back and kick ass at work. And in six months, when the dust is settled, you’ll see where you land. Maybe it’s together. Maybe it’s not. But you’ll at least have had the dream.”

“I hope you’re right,” is all I can say, because it’s the absolute truth. Universe, if you’re listening, please let her be right.

Chapter 15

Ross

I stare out the windows overlooking the city, mentally reciting my presentation. This is a big one, important to the company and to my career. I need it to go well, and it will. I’m prepared, the numbers are great, and it’ll be a boon for the company.

As long as Dad can see that.

A knock on the door interrupts my speech. I look over to see Kaede in the doorway, his brand-new ‘armored’ tablet in his left hand. “It’s time.”

I nod, and we stride off down the hallway together. Knights to the battle, updated from the medieval brand of warfare to a battlefield of conference tables surrounded by the old guard.

We walk into the meeting room, where the only member of the board not yet present is Dad. It gives me a minute to review my meeting notes behind the podium while Kaede gets the display set up, him giving me the thumbs-up just as Dad and Courtney walk in.

Subtle, Dad. I know by his being tardy, he’s sending a signal to the rest of the board that I’m unimportant, that this presentation is unimportant. Everything with him is a multi-layered power play of strategy. Always.

“Thank you for coming, everyone,” Dad says before taking his place at the head of the table. “Ross?”

“Thank you, Dad, board members. I know a lot of things have been happening recently,” I start, getting a few chuckles from the more sympathetic board members, “and if I sound a little sleep deprived, my apologies.”

“Hell, it’s understandable. We were once young and