To My Arrogant Boss (The Inappropriate Bachelors #2) - J. S. Cooper Page 0,72
take friends from school and that summer, I took a girl. My first girlfriend, her name was Vivian.” My heart thud at the memory. “She was beautiful, innocent, trusting, she loved the outdoors just like me.” I looked at Jane and she was gazing at me with an apt expression. “Her mother was my father’s secretary. My parent’s knew we were friends, but they had no idea we were dating. That summer, well I took her down to the creek, we went skinny-dipping. We embraced on a blanket laid down on the grass. All we did was kiss. We were both too timid to go past that. My granddaddy he happened to come by at that moment.” I froze as I remembered that moment so vividly in my mind. “He walked over to us and he started shouting. We stumbled to put our clothes on. I didn’t understand why he was so mad. But then he started saying mean things, nasty things, he told me that our type and their type don’t belong together.” My voice was pained as I ran my hand through my hair. “You see Vivian she was black, my granddaddy didn’t like that. He said some nasty things, things I can’t repeat.” I shook my head. “And I just stood there. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t speak up to him. I just let him hurl his abuse at her. And she was crying. She was crying so bad. He told me that she had to go home. That she needed to go back to where she came from, told her to go pick some cotton fields.” My voice cracked as I remembered what he’d said. “He told her that her mama wasn’t good enough for my daddy and that she wasn’t good enough for me.” I heard my voice crack. “And she broke down. She broke down. The next day we both left, but she never spoke to me again.” I looked up at Jane and I could feel tears welling in my eyes. “Her mama quit the next day and they left town. I heard they went to Chicago.”
“Oh Tate,” She stood up and walked towards me. “I’m so sorry.”
“My mama came to me at the end of the summer.” I looked at Jane and sighed. “And she thanked me for getting rid of Vivian’s mom. You see my dad and Vivian’s mom had had a love affair when they were teenagers, but my dad married my mom instead, thanks to granddaddy. He hired her as his secretary and he was still sleeping with her. All through my parents marriage. My momma knew but there was nothing she could do or say.”
“Oh wow.”
“So that’s why I still love her. That’s why I don’t hate her. I don’t like her. But I understand, kinda.” I sighed. “It’s all a mess, isn’t it?”
“It doesn’t have to be a mess, Tate.” She pulled me into her arms and kissed my cheek and touched the side of my face gently. “You’re not a bad man. You were young when that happened. It sounds really painful and I’m so sorry it happened, but you were fifteen. You left the next day right?”
I nodded, “But I never spoke up for Vivian. I can still see her face, Jane. I can still see her tears. My granddaddy tore her down and I did nothing.”
“Do you think she blamed you?”
“Would you have blamed me?” I asked her softly and she looked at me considering. Her eyes glazed over for a few seconds and then she sighed.
“I would have hated you.” She nodded. “But as I got older, I would have understood the circumstances. We can’t help where we’re from, Tate. We can’t choose our families, you know that. But we can be better people, we can be bigger people, we can be more open, not make so many choices based on hate and distrust.”
“I try my best.”
“I know you do. You’re a good man, Tate. You’re not defined by one or two incidents in your past. You don’t have to hate yourself forever. We all do and say things we regret, but we have to learn from our mistakes and forgive ourselves. We have to forgive ourselves and move on. That’s the only way we can evolve.”
“How did you get to be so smart?”
“I think I was born this way.” She grinned and I leaned forward and kissed her.
“I think I’m falling in love with you, Jane Garcia.” I said against her