Murphy's Law (Havenwood #2) - Riley Hart Page 0,42
go home and Bear is gonna smell you on me and get jealous,” I said, petting Taffy.
“I’m doing good,” she replied, then looked at Remy. “Oh, well, I don’t know you. I know everyone in Havenwood.”
“Be nice,” I teased her. “This is Remy, a friend from college.”
“Nice to meet you, Remy.”
“You too, ma’am.” They shook hands.
“I better be on my way. Places to go and people to see!” She smiled and then swept out of there like a tornado.
I nodded toward the trees, away from the trail. Whatever we said would be better done without running the risk of seeing anyone.
Remy followed me as leaves and branches crushed beneath our feet, until we were a good distance from the trail. “What’d you figure out, Rem?” I asked again.
His eyes held mine, strong and steady. I wished he saw that strength in himself, but he never had.
“That I’m tired. I’m so damn tired of…everything. Of being the way I am. Of hiding. The only times I’ve ever felt like me, like the me I could be, is when I’m onstage or when I’m with you.”
My heart swelled at his admission, my hands trembled, but my words were gone. There weren’t many times in my life I’d been rendered speechless, but this was one of them.
“I lost my music because I don’t know that I deserve it right now. And I don’t know how to do that—how to earn it, or how to earn your friendship again. I’m not built to be who you need. But I’m trying to be…better. I want to be better. To be the friend I never was to you and to figure out who I am besides Remington—the musician and guy who takes care of his family. I don’t even know who in the fuck that is. And I don’t know what that means. I can’t make you any promises, and I’m sure you don’t want them from me, not now. You said you don’t trust me, and I understand that, but all I know is I’m not willing to lose you again, and somehow, I’m hoping to find myself in the process.”
My heart was thudding against my chest. Blood rushed through my ears, making me dizzy.
I didn’t remember moving, but somehow his face was in my hands and my lips were pressed to his. It was like that moment on the bench, the first night we met. He tensed for a second, then opened his mouth, and I slipped my tongue inside. Damned if my whole fucking body didn’t melt against him. He still tasted the same, like mint and sunshine.
It was stupid, so fucking stupid, but I deepened the kiss, sucked his lip as his hands fisted in my shirt. He made those same little quick whimpers he used to make when we kissed, and I swallowed them down.
His cock was hard against me. Remy grabbed my ass, holding me in place as he rubbed against me, like he wanted to ride me right then and there.
It was that movement that woke us both up. We stopped kissing, our foreheads pressed together, just breathing each other in. “That was really fucking stupid. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I was there too. I always lose my head when I’m with you.”
Pulling away, I adjusted myself, my dick really fucking mad at me for stopping. “I don’t know how to be friends with you, Remy. I really don’t. I’m already all fucking wrapped up in you. I don’t know how in the hell you do that to me. No one else reaches me like that. I had no business to be as pissed as I was at you, simply because you wouldn’t go to the fucking bar? You said you lose your head with me, and I do the same with you. It’s going to get us both hurt.” I wished he were like everyone else, that I could be casual with him.
He closed his eyes, lashes thick against his creamy skin. “I know,” he replied before opening them. “I knew that before I came, and I didn’t want to admit it. I don’t know how to be friends with you, but I don’t know how to lose you either. It’s been six fucking years, and I still haven’t. I don’t know where we go from here, if anywhere, but I’m trying, Law. I don’t want to do this forever, lie to the world, to myself. I’m so fucking tired and alone, and the only