This Much is True - Tia Louise Page 0,39
None of it matters.
“DADDY!” He shouts so loud, my heart skips.
Like a streak of light, he runs across the room, and I drop to my knees.
I catch him under the arms and lift him to me, holding his small body tight, blinking away the heat in my eyes.
He feels the same but bigger. He feels like my son. He’s sturdy and strong, and he smells like he’s been playing in the grass and having fun.
“Jesse.” My voice cracks.
So many emotions flood my chest, I’m doing good to hold on, and that’s just what I do. I hold onto my little man.
“I made this when I was in Latin class.”
“Latin in Kindergarten?” I look to my grandma, and she just shrugs. “That’s amazing, J.”
“Did you know the gladiators spoke Latin? Mr. Perkins told us that. He even has a real gladiator shield. He let us touch it. Then he showed us how you use it to protect yourself if somebody was coming at you with a knife.”
“Lord have mercy, Jesse, take a breath!” GA puts a plate in front of my son with a cookie and a glass of milk. “You’re going to hyperventilate.”
“It’s okay.” I smile up at her. “I want to hear it all.”
I’ve missed so much. I want to hear everything he wants to tell me. My hand is on his little back where he stands in front of me at the coffee table showing me all his school work, and every few minutes, I lean forward to kiss the back of his head.
“Look what I got for my birthday!” He takes off running to the back of the house, and my grandma shakes her head.
“He spends the whole day running. He has so much energy.” Then she chuckles. “But it’s just the one. Not like the two of you.”
“You loved it.” Scout pushes off the wall where he’s been leaning with his arms crossed. “You were always on the front row decked out in all our team colors.”
“I was also fifteen years younger!”
“Does somebody need another hug?” My brother starts towards her, and she lets out a little holler.
“Bradley Scout! Don’t you pick me up again. You’ll break my back!”
“Check it out, Dad!” Jesse runs in the room carrying a football as big as him. “Poppy got it for me. He said it’s regulation size!”
I choose to ignore the bitterness in my throat at the mention of my father. Instead I focus on this little guy between my legs with one arm around my neck doing his best to hold an adult-sized football under his arm.
“Want to play with me, Dad?”
“Heck, yeah, I do.” Scooping him up, we start for the door, where Hope hasn’t moved.
She’s watching us, and her eyes are shining. When they meet mine, my chest tightens, and I want to put my arm around her and pull her into this twosome. A sensation deep in my bones says this would be right. Would she change her life for this mess I’m facing?
“He’s adorable.” Her voice is soft, and her cute little nose wrinkles with her smile. “I was right. He does look just like you.”
“He looks like my brother.” My voice is different, gentler.
“Who looks just like you.”
Jesse is restless on my hip. “Come on, Dad!”
I know it will eventually get old, but right now I love it when he shouts that in my ear. “Hey, Jess, I want you to meet a friend of mine. This is Hope.”
“Hi-ya, Hope!” He waves a hand over his head, and I laugh. “Who taught you that?”
“Hi, Jesse. It’s really nice to meet you. Your dad’s told me a lot about you.”
“Did he tell you we play football?” I’m not sure why my son is shouting, but I don’t care.
My brother swoops up beside us and swipes the ball from his hands. “Give me that.”
“Hey!” Jesse bucks on my hip, and I let him go.
He charges out the metal door right behind my brother into the yard, and I shake my head. “I’ve missed a lot.”
“You’ll get it back.” Hope Eternal is standing beside me. “He’s so happy to see you.”
“I never let him forget you.” GA is at my side sliding her arm around my waist. “I showed him your picture every night and told him you were thinking about him, praying for him… I told him you were coming back.”
It hits me hard to hear her say those words. Turning, I pull my grandma into a firm hug, my eyes burning.
“Thank you, Gran. You