This Much is True - Tia Louise Page 0,17
The wind pushes his blond hair around his face, and we’re flying down I-10, crossing southern Texas. The muscle in his square jaw moves like his brother’s when he’s thinking, but he seems so much younger.
“An out of work actor, a failed restaurateur, and an ex-con walk into a bar—”
My nose scrunches. “I don’t like being a failed restauranteur. I prefer suspended… or temporarily detained…”
“Doesn’t flow.”
“Frustrated restaurateur…” I suggest.
“Maybe.”
“You’re out of work. Why do I have to be a failure?”
“All actors are out of work.”
JR growls from the backseat. “Would you two shut up so I can sleep? We’re not going to a bar.”
We fall silent as Mr. Dark Cloud turns over on the seat, and I can’t resist. “Snarls the grumpy ex-con…”
Scout fake-coughs, “Asshole,” and I glance back, catching the ghost of a grin on JR’s lips.
It makes me smile. He tries to act so angry all the time, but he likes us. He’s talking to me now, and I want more. I want every word he has to say.
I won’t ever lie to you…
The simple statement sent a thrill through my stomach. I believe him.
“Who was the first guy you ever had sex with?” Scout glances at me, and my eyebrows shoot up.
“You are so nosy!”
“It’s a boring drive. We might as well make it interesting. Tell me your story, and I’ll tell you mine.”
Mischief is in his eyes, and I chew my lip. Scout is so fun, and I think I like him more knowing we’re just friends.
I steal a glance at the backseat, and it seems JR is sleeping…
“Okay.” I hold the sides of my dress and rest my feet on the dash. It’s how I always rode with Dad, and Scout doesn’t seem to care. “Wade Peterson.”
“Wade…” Scout says the word like he’s testing it out. “That’s a name you don’t hear much.”
“He was one of the commune kids. We lost touch after my mom left, but we met up again when we were seniors. We were at a Young Life meeting, and every time they’d sing ‘Wade in the Water,’ my best friend Yars would whisper ‘Where?’”
The memory makes me grin—my bestie is so crazy.
“So he was cute?”
“He had that California beach thing going, blue eyes, bleached hair, perpetual tan.”
“Wait… Isn’t Young Life a church thing?” Scout’s cheek-dimple appears. “Let me guess… He wanted it, and you didn’t.”
“Pfft… Hardly.”
That makes him laugh. “Teenage Hope was a bad girl.”
“That’s what he said.” I look out the window feeling embarrassed all over again. “I thought… I think sex is a natural thing. It’s fun.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“Wade said sex for fun was indulging the flesh.” I can still see his eyes, stern and judgmental. God, it’s been six years, and I still feel the cringe of shame climbing my shoulders.
“What the fuck?” Scout’s brow lowers, and he looks like his brother—pissed and ready to punch somebody. I kind of like this protective vibe he’s giving me. It makes me feel safe telling him the truth.
“He said I had a problem. I shouldn’t want it so much. He said sex was for procreation.”
“So he was gay.” Scout relaxes like he’s solved a riddle.
“He was… not.” Tilting my head to the side, I give it some more thought. “I never thought he was. He was smart and he liked discussing the Bible—”
“Gay.” Scout nods like he’s an expert. He holds up a hand. “Nothing wrong with that, but he shouldn’t have led you on.”
A few quiet moments pass, and I think about what he’s saying. I think about the things I’d wanted and how dirty Wade made me feel. I tucked those desires away, believing I had a problem. Now I wonder…
Lowering my voice, I lean closer. “I wanted him to say dirty things to me and be rough. Hold me down and take me. You know?”
Scout shifts in his seat. “Unexpected, but okay.”
My cheeks flush, and I want to die. “Is that bad? Do you think I need therapy?”
“Shit no.” He laughs, running his hand over his mouth and giving me another quick glance. “It’s just… Look at you. Then you go and say something like that.”
“Wade said it was perverted. He said I must have some deep-seated problem.”
“I think your boy Wade had the problem.” He gives my shoulder a pat. “I think your shit is hot. I think it’s going to make some guy really happy.”
Crossing my arms, I flop back on the seat. “Well, I dumped him. He shaved his beard, and I realized