Mr. Smithfield - Louise Bay Page 0,66

were about to be over before we had even begun.

Twenty-Eight

Autumn

Today was about Bethany. I was just her nanny. Her caregiver. Her protector. I should remain professional and bury the nerves swirling about in my stomach.

The doorbell rang and I wanted to throw up.

“Postman?” Bethany asked as I stood from where we were bandaging up Bear Bear’s arm.

I didn’t want to lie to her, but I didn’t know how to explain who was at the door. Gabriel was at work—everyone agreed that it would be better if he wasn’t here when Penelope came around. There had been lots of rules put in place before Gabriel had agreed to today. The first meeting between Penelope and Bethany would be an hour long. It would take place in this house. Penelope wouldn’t bring gifts. Penelope had to be accompanied by an independent psychologist. There were other things Gabriel had told me about, but they had gelled into a hard ball in my gut. I just knew I wasn’t going to leave the room. Not for a second. Gabriel had hired a security guard who would be stationed outside the house all morning. It was clear he didn’t trust Penelope with his daughter. And who knew what her game plan was? The more I thought about it, the less I understood her explanation for leaving. Even if she’d felt trapped and bored—why be gone for so long? Why come back now? Why hadn’t she stayed in touch? Sent Christmas presents? Something.

I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hello,” a very glamourous, blonde woman said. “You must be the nanny.”

Irritation crawled up my skin. Yes, I’m the woman who spends all day with your daughter. I’m the one she kisses goodnight and hugs when she’s fallen over. I’m the one who’s here every day. Who the hell are you? But I didn’t say any of that. I just smiled and gestured that she and the woman behind her should come in.

“Who’s the guy outside?” she asked me, nodding toward the security guard on the door.

I just shrugged. I wasn’t about to get dragged into anything. “Bethany, this is Penelope,” I said pointing at her mother. “And this lady is . . .”

“Jade,” the psychologist said.

Bethany waved and said hi without even looking up. Penelope tried to catch her eye but Bethany was too caught up in Bear Bear’s injuries.

“They’ve come to visit,” I explained. Gabriel had been clear that no one was to refer to Penelope as Bethany’s mother. He thought it would be far too confusing for Bethany.

“Please have a seat,” I said. This might not be my house to invite people to sit down in, but it sure as hell wasn’t Penelope’s either. “Can I get either of you something to drink?”

Penelope shook her head, her eyes fixed on Bethany. It struck me like a blow to the head: Penelope was Bethany’s doppelganger. They looked exactly alike. The long blonde hair. The bright blue eyes.

They were both beautiful.

Penelope sat on the floor next to Bear Bear and tapped his nose. “Hi, Bear Bear.”

She knew him. Of course she did. There was history here that couldn’t be erased.

“He’s hurt his leg,” Bethany explained. “I’m making him better with ban-ges.”

“That’s kind,” Penelope said carefully. “How did he hurt it?”

“He fell,” Bethany said.

I sat the other side of Bethany, making sure I was in touching distance.

“Autumn,” Bethany said, tugging at the elastic fastener that fixed the end of the bandage. “Please, may you help?”

“I can help you,” Penelope said with a glance to me, checking it was okay.

It was no big deal, right? She was just helping Bethany fix a bandage on her bear. Something I would have done if she hadn’t been here.

Penelope took the small section of elastic with the metal ends and placed it on Bear Bear’s leg, holding the bandage in place.

“Thank you,” Bethany said and looked up at Penelope. “Are you Autumn’s friend?”

Penelope glanced at me again as if I had the answer to that question. “I’d like to be your friend,” she said.

I had to give it to her, it was the perfect answer. For now. First, she wanted to be Bethany’s friend and then she’d want to be her mother. I wanted to ask her questions. Did she regret leaving? Did she know how much she’d missed? Even in the short time I’d been Bethany’s nanny, there’d been so many changes. The questions she asked, the different toys she played with, her bravery on the monkey bars at