Mr. Mitchell Billionaires' Club Book 2 - Raylin Marks Page 0,171

over the cliff as my therapy,” I said.

“Let’s do it,” Collin agreed.

I knew the work that I needed to do wasn’t going to be easy, but I needed to let go of the resentment I held toward my mother. She’d made horrible decisions, but she didn’t control my life anymore. As much as I hated her for what she’d done to my father, brother, and me, I needed to forgive her. Forgiving someone who never bothered to apologize is not the easiest thing to do, but I knew I was doing it for me, not her.

My therapist told me to write a letter to my mother, and when I was done, light it on fire and let my feelings go with my words. I didn’t feel some kind of a weight being lifted from my shoulders or anything by doing the deed, but I can say with certainty that I felt lighter somehow.

I guess it was put to the test when I came to the hospital for the birth of my nephew, and I saw Avery in passing. I didn’t see the addict, the liar, or the one who’d hurt me by keeping her secrets from me. I saw a woman whose face and bright blue eyes had always spoken to my soul. She looked healthier and happier than I’d ever seen her, and even though she was no longer mine, knowing she was in a good place made me feel extremely content.

I wanted to stop her and talk, but what would have come of that if I had? Would we have tried this thing again? I knew she was working on herself, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that. More than that, I knew I still had a lot of work to do on myself. I was still a fucking workaholic, and those issues almost had my therapist ready to put me in a straitjacket.

I had a long road to travel, unraveling years of issues, and there’s no way I’d bring Avery or Addy back into my life until I figured out how to live it better without needing Avery to be the one to help. This was all on me, and for the first time in my life, I was the one working on fixing myself.

Chapter Forty-Two

Avery

Who would have imagined how freeing and marvelous life could be when leaving one’s guilt and burdens of their past in the damn past. It wasn’t an easy road, but what helped was staying in contact with Javier and Ash during the rough times.

Once I started down the road to forgiveness, dismantling my defenses wasn’t always easy. At times, I found myself feeling alone and even a bit depressed. As strange as it sounded, I’d grown used to the chaos, and sometimes it felt like I didn’t know what to do with myself without it. That was my dysfunction. I hadn’t been addicted to drugs for a long time, but I had been addicted to the chaos and the fight to survive. Now, things were different, and I was learning how to enjoy the peace that my second chance had gifted me.

Derek had completed his ninety-day rehab, but against the advice of his counselors, he deciding to move back home to his parents’ house instead of staying in Florida and moving into a sober living facility. His relapse followed shortly after he arrived in Southern California.

When Derek had initially gone to Florida, Javier had encouraged Larry and Annette to attend counseling for families of addicts, to learn how to stop their cycle of co-dependency and enabling, but they chose not to participate. After Derek’s relapse, however, they changed their tune. Derek had his sponsors, and they managed to persuade him to go back to Florida and stay there, and they convinced Larry and Annette to get the help that they needed too. Derek was addicted to drugs, and they were addicted to Derek. It was a horrible cycle, and it needed to be broken.

Addy and I were moving through life, one happy meal at a time. Her uplifted spirits and constant story-telling kept me going through the tough times as well. She was the reason we spent nearly every other weekend with Jake and Ash. I still couldn’t believe that handsome little son of theirs. Little John had big blue eyes, a head full of dark, black hair, and he was already crawling at six months old.

The day that sweet little chubby cherub was born was the first