questions every day, but I might call you a few more times with other questions. Making the perfect video is all about getting a feel for the client.”
Now she was smiling, not that Mike could see it. All he knew was that her side of the line was quiet.
“Anyway,” he added quickly. “I didn’t mean to bother you—”
“No, it’s a good thing,” she said before he could hang up on her again. “I needed a distraction.”
“Yeah? What’s going on?”
His tone was so casual that answering came naturally. “Just some bad news—or not really bad, I guess. I don’t know what it is, but it’s definitely news.”
“Regarding?”
“An ex.” Was she really telling him this?
“Ah, ex news. That’s always interesting. What kind? Is he getting married?”
“How did you know?”
“Because an ex’s wedding is always a roller coaster to process.”
“Have you ever had one send you a wedding invitation before?”
“Once or twice,” he said. “But you know the protocol when that happens, right?”
Rori picked up the announcement and looked at it again. “There’s actually a protocol for such things?”
“Most definitely. Do you have any candles around?”
Rori glanced around the room. “I don’t think so.”
“Matches? A lighter?”
“A lighter, yes,” Rori said, still confused.
“Good. Then I need you to grab a bowl and go into the bathroom with the invitation.”
“Mike?”
“Yeah?”
“This sounds very weird.”
He laughed and she nearly joined him. “Trust me. Go get a bowl, and the lighter, then let me know when you’re in the bathroom.”
“Okay,” she said before reluctantly moving to the kitchen. She grabbed a bowl from the cupboard then the lighter from her purse before padding over to the bathroom. “I’m in position.” That sounded wrong.
“And you have the invitation?”
“Yes.”
“Great,” he said, sounding totally relaxed. “Since you don’t have a candle we’ll have to skip the extended ceremony and just jump to the end.”
“A ceremony? You’re making this up.”
“Do you want me to grab Luke or Kris?” he asked, with feigned dismay. “They can walk you through this just as easily as I can. Although Kris might insist on the full ceremony. She’s superstitious like that.”
Rori couldn’t help it. She laughed. “No, I’ll stick with you. What do you want me to do now?”
“Put the lid of the toilet seat down and place the bowl on it.”
“Okaaay,” Rori said, doing just that. “Bowl on lid. Check.”
“Now take the invitation in one hand and the lighter in the other.”
“Got it.”
“Now repeat after me—wait, what’s his name?”
“Bentley.”
“His full name.”
“Bentley Jeremiah Frandson.”
“Really? He kind of sounds like a douche.”
“He kind of is,” Rori said, not wanting to talk about it. “What’s next in this little protocol of yours?”
“Repeat after me: Bentley Jeremiah Doucheball Frandson.”
Rori laughed. She couldn’t help it.
“You gotta say the words, Rori.”
“Fine. Bentley Jeremiah Doucheball Frandson.”
“I gave you the best of me, you stupid asshole.” He paused, clearly waiting for her to repeat the words.
“Well, I don’t know that that’s entirely fair. I—”
“Did you love him?” Mike interrupted.
“Well, yes.”
“Did you let him into your heart?”
It felt degrading to answer that, and yet she did. “Yes.”
“Did you whip out every trick you knew for him in bed?”
That answer was mortifying, but again she said it. “Stupidly enough, yes.”
“Did you talk about marriage?”
She preferred not to think about those times. Those were some of the best memories she had with him. “Yes.”
“Then why did you break up?”
“Because he couldn’t keep his pants up around his models.”
“Oh, wow. Then you definitely have to repeat after me: I gave you the best of me, you stupid asshole.”
Her mouth didn’t move and she found herself staring at the image of Bentley as violent emotions warred within her.
“Say it,” Mike prompted, and this time the words came out in a flood.
“I gave you the best of me, you stupid asshole.”
“Together we had the best of times and the worst of times.”
They truly had, so Rori had no trouble repeating those words.
“And now,” Mike continued. “My wedding wish for you is that this time you don’t fuck it up.”
It was hard to say while laughing at the same time, but somehow Rori managed.
“And now, Bentley Jeremiah Fuck-up Frandson—”
“I thought it was Doucheball,” she corrected.
“Yeah? Well, it evolved. Now stop interrupting. This is very serious.”
“Of course,” she said in mock solemnity. “Please proceed.”
He cleared his throat dramatically. “And now, Bentley Jeremiah Fuck-up Frandson. I release you.”
“And now, Bentley Jeremiah Fuck-up Frandson. I release you.”
“Now light the lighter.”
“Now light the ligh—”
“No,” he laughed. “Don’t say it. Do it.”
“Oh, of course,” Rori said, flicking her thumb to get a flame. “Got it.”