Mr. Hot Grinch - Lindsey Hart Page 0,68
as he walks past me. I want to put it out there, but I’m also pissed at my body’s immediate and traitorous reaction to him. He’s just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Regular everyday clothes. I shouldn’t find him so enthralling.
Luke nods as he pulls open the door for me. I’m here, and it would look horrendous on my part to turn around and leave. I’m not a coward, and I refuse to be thought of as such.
The house is both familiar and different. It’s neater, and there’s a plate of cookies on the coffee table in the living room—gingersnaps. They look and smell homemade.
“I see Shade was right about the new nanny. She doesn’t burn anything.”
“Nope, she doesn’t.” Luke sits.
I do too. As far away from him on the couch as possible. I basically jam the arm into my side just to make sure I’m literally as far as I can go. Wouldn’t want to leave that extra quarter-inch just in case he misunderstands it. I don’t help myself to those perfect, sugar encrusted, spicy scented cookies that make my mouth water. I do, irrationally, detest whoever this new nanny is.
“So. Are you banging her too?”
Luke looks surprised for a second. Then he breaks into a grin. This guy seriously has balls of steel to sit there and smile at that. “No. Mary Anne is actually in her sixties.”
“So?”
“Even I have limits.”
“Good to know.”
Luke gets serious again. He’s giving me a contrite look, but I quickly tear my eyes away and study my hands. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see he’s sorry, and I don’t want to believe it either.
“Feeney, I—”
“You are not a very nice person, and I don’t even like you.”
“I know.”
“You were a dick. An asshole. You played with my feelings.”
“No. I never did that.”
“So you say.”
“So I say, and so I mean it. I’m sorry. I made a mistake. You know all of it, so I’m not going to rehash it all. I’ll just tell you I am sorry. I truly am, for all of it, except the parts where I started to have feelings for you. That wasn’t a lie, and it wasn’t part of any plan. Whatever my intentions were or however it started, it ended up that way, and I’m not sorry for it. But I am sorry you were hurt and that you felt like we were trying to do anything but keep you safe. I’m sorry you had to find out the way you did, were lied to, were confused and upset about the whole thing, had to run from your own family and friends, and even from me when you should have been able to trust us. I’m sorry. Truly, honestly, and incredibly sorry.”
“Well.” I haven’t even looked at Luke, and I’m not planning on doing so. I’m scared if I do, I’ll be able to tell if he’s genuine, and I’ll feel sorry for him and cave in. I can already feel my lip quivering a little and my chest quaking. “Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about Shade. I don’t mind hanging out with him. I miss him and want to see him again. I just don’t want you to be around.”
“Feeney, please!”
“Please?” I crank my head up. “Are you for real right now? I told you there weren’t any magic words. What? Did you not believe me? You think you can just say a couple of things, and I’ll forget all about what happened, and everything will be fine, and we’ll just pick up where we left off? Where we left off was spending secret time together, stolen time at night, because we didn’t want anyone to know.”
“That’s not true, and you know it.”
“Oh, really? I don’t know much of anything. That’s pretty obvious—”
“I know you’re mad.” Luke takes a chance and slides over an inch on the couch. I have nowhere to go. I could get up. I could. I could get up and leave, but I don’t. “And you have every right to be angry with me because I did make a mistake. I can say sorry all I want, but I know it won’t fix much of anything. I also know I have no right to ask you for another chance—”
“That’s the only thing you’ve said that I actually agree with. You don’t have a right.”
“I know. But I also know what I felt was real, and it mattered, and I’m going to fight for