The Moth and the Flame (When Rivals Play #2) - B.B. Reid Page 0,94
one more indulgence?
Cursing again, I retreated until my back was pressed against the wall, and I closed my eyes. I wanted to fuck Lou more than I wanted to live, but Lou had become the very air I breathed. Without her, I was nothing. If I kept her innocence intact, I might stand a chance when she found out what I did five years ago.
I didn’t hear Lou get up from the bed, didn’t hear her coming until I felt her warm body pressed against mine and her tiny hands resting on my shoulders, easing the tension from them. My eyes opened, and without a second thought, I grabbed her waist and was amazed at how well she fit in my hands. She was slim with subtle curves—much more than she’d had when I met her. Without a doubt, I wouldn’t mind feeling her with more, but sadly, it wouldn’t matter if she were built like a wall or a brick house. She had the power to humble me with the bat of an eyelash. Whenever I was with her, I was little more than a thirteen-year-old boy seconds away from ruining a good pair of jeans.
“Why won’t you make love to me?”
I licked my lips, and her own parted when it drew her gaze to them. “Because you think you can handle me, but you can’t. I won’t lay you down and stare lovingly into your eyes while I take you. I’ll bend you over, Lou. I’ll pop your fucking cherry and steal your every waking thought when I’m done.” Leaning down, I growled in her ear. “Is that what you’re asking me to do?”
She didn’t respond. For the first time since meeting her two and a half years ago, she’d chosen silence. I knew better than to mistake it for compliance, though. Behind those baby blues, she wasn’t considering surrender. She was plotting mine.
“I won’t be gentle,” I pressed almost desperately. “You know I won’t.”
She lifted her hand and palmed my cheek while her eyes lit with understanding. “Maybe that’s why I chose you.”
“Louchana…I’ll ruin you.”
“Good. I want to be bad.” She stood on her tiptoes and said, “I want to be yours.” I felt her teeth nip my ear, and the last thread of my control snapped.
“Yeah?” I asked her, and she eagerly nodded, missing the danger in my tone. “Go to my bed.”
She paused as if surprised by my surrender or afraid. Maybe it was both. Regardless of the reason, I lost it.
“Goddamn it, Lou!”
She cried out when I gripped her hair in one hand and dug my fingers in her hips with the other.
“There’s no time to think long and hard, little Valentine. I’m long and hard for you right now.”
I was sure she knew that by now. The evidence pressed against her belly, and I could tell by her trembling that she was intimated. Perhaps she was realizing for the first time that she was out of her depth. I wished like hell it wasn’t too late to turn back, but I was too far gone to care about right or wrong.
The only person who could stop this now was her.
And a moment later, she did.
“Why are you doing this?” she tearfully demanded.
Pushing her away, I took a deep breath. “Because I’m no good for you, and now you know it, too.”
Her nostrils flared as she hugged herself, and I could only imagine how vulnerable she felt right now. “The only thing I know is that you’re afraid. Maybe even more than me.”
Stalking over to my dresser, I found a clean white T-shirt, and she didn’t fight me this time when I slipped it over her head. The minute she was covered, I felt my control renew.
“Get in the bed.”
She hurried to do what I ordered, and I watched her crawl under the covers. The way she pulled them up to her chin, I knew she wouldn’t be changing her mind about sex. At least not tonight. Leaning over, I kissed her forehead, the only placed she allowed me access before heading for the door.
Last night, after I left Lou alone in my bed, I’d gotten into my grandmother’s gin, and after finishing half the bottle, I passed out on the couch. This morning, as my head threatened to split in two, I realized I was doomed to suffer the consequences of last night.
I’d been a dick and an idiot, but at least Lou was still a virgin. My conscience was clear even if