to parent us, Maddie. You didn’t even let yourself have a childhood.”
“That’s why I tried so hard to make things nice for you and Gia. With Mom and Dad gone . . .”
“I remember how you dyed Easter eggs with us and put on plays for us and read us bedtime stories. We appreciated it.”
“I loved doing it for you guys.”
“You turned homemaking into your career.”
Madison nodded as she swept the material remnants into a pile. “Could you hold the dustpan?”
Shelley squatted to hold it while Madison swept up the massacred quilt.
“What about you now? Are you going back to New York when your summer hiatus is over?” Shelley stood up and dumped the dustpan in the trash bin.
Madison shook her head. “I don’t know. Depends on how things go with Grammy.”
“Do you want to go back?”
“I’m not sure what I want.”
“Do you think you’ll ever get married?”
Madison thought about Finn. Felt a strange tremor of hope. She had loved him so much, but her hidebound pride had gotten in the way. “Maybe not. I’m too high maintenance.”
“Says who?”
“Everyone I’ve ever dated. Apparently, my standards are too high.”
“Hmph. I say their standards are too low.”
“I expect too much from people,” Madison admitted.
“Hey, your kooky, clueless sister joined a cult and didn’t even know she was in one for five freaking years. I can’t judge anyone.”
“I drove you into a cult.”
“Nah.” Shelley waved a hand. “I’d been searching for something for years. And when I found the love and acceptance that I was looking for, I didn’t ask questions. I just went for it. Which, surprise, surprise, was really stupid on my part.”
“You did it because you weren’t getting what you needed from our family. I’m ashamed of that.”
“I don’t blame you guys. After that thing with Raoul, I took a wrong turn and I just kept going. You got rewarded by stepping up to the plate and mothering us and Gia got rewarded for going along to get along. Me? I never learned how to play the game.”
“No,” Maddie said. “You were the only one of us who was true to yourself. You didn’t try to be something you weren’t.”
Shelley laughed. “You never saw me at Cobalt Soul, wearing drapey white clothes and chanting like a loon for two and a half hours every morning at four A.M. They convinced me that was my true self, but now I know it was a false identity they invented for me. They even changed my name and I embraced it, because I didn’t want to see the truth.”
“What was the truth?”
“The love they offered and claimed was unconditional wasn’t unconditional at all. It was based on me fitting in and doing what they told me and giving them all my money. It was great at first because I’d had no direction and I wanted so badly to belong. It was easy to lead me astray.”
“You were hurting because your very own sister accused you of terrible things,” Madison said, humble and contrite. “You were right. Raoul is a total douche.”
“I handled that whole situation poorly.”
“So did I.”
“I can’t believe we went five years without speaking to each other over a guy like that.”
“My fault. Not yours.”
“What did you ever see in him?” Shelley asked.
“I’ve been trying to answer that question. I think it’s similar to why you ended up in a cult. I was looking for attention and he gave it to me. He was full of flattery and praise.”
“But it was false flattery just to snag you,” Shelley said. “Not real compliments.”
“I see that now.”
They stared at each other across the porch swing.
“I’m sorry, Shelley,” Madison said.
“Not more than me.”
“I think we both really blew it with Gia,” Maddie said.
“Don’t worry, she’ll forgive us. It’s her nature.”
“I don’t know about that. She was pretty furious when she left here.”
“She was the one pushing us to finish that quilt and here she’s the one who destroyed it.”
“I’m glad she destroyed it,” Maddie said. “I feel freed of Raoul at last. From all the crap in my life that’s kept me stymied. Like not being able to forgive you.”
“Hey, I did kiss your fiancé. I’m lucky you didn’t deck me.” Shelley chuckled.
“But you didn’t sleep with him?” Madison looked at Shelley closely.
“I did not.”
“Why would he say that you did?” Madison asked, wanting to believe Shelley, but a part of her unable to fully release her five-year grudge.
Shelley hauled in an audible breath. “I think I know why, but—”