Moon Child (The Year of the Wolf #2) - Serena Akeroyd Page 0,105

eyes after every smack, every stab. I knew even that was only because each glance at me had made him look weak, and the other hyena had mocked him for it.

That was when I’d seen that my nurturing side was a weakness at this moment. That was when I’d learned I had to toughen up.

I stood by the door, ready to get the hell out of here if I thought I was going to puke like last time. Over by the only window in the basement, a low one that peered out onto ground level, Eli was sitting in a desk chair in front of a desk that was barren of all papers—because it made sense that there’d be no paperwork in torture—and Ethan was leaning against the wall at his side, watching events with a brooding stare.

Both of them had been quiet since the attack two nights ago. I wanted to comfort them, but my milk had just come through, and as Lara had said, Knight was no longer hungry. I’d expected to feel triumph at finally being able to nourish my son, but there was only relief and no joy at being enough for our wunderkind.

The second they’d seen how I could feed him better than before, however, they’d backed off, and because I didn’t understand the whys or the hows, and because there was a hell of a lot going on, I was okay just to climb into bed and to sleep.

But after today?

No way.

I needed affirmation. I needed it badly.

This side of my mates wasn’t one I was used to seeing, and I needed to feel the old them, to reconcile what battle did to them. I knew it changed soldiers, and my men, while alphas, weren’t soldiers. They were just shifters. Leaders. But not meant for battle.

I flinched when Austin sliced into the hyena, his claw appearing on his right hand like it was normal. Like he could just grow that kind of shit at his very whim. I’d never seen him do that before, and I had to figure it was because of the situation… At least, I hoped it was, and that it didn’t happen when he had a finger inside me.

Sheesh.

I’d only ever seen these partial shifts during moments where control was lost, but Austin was totally himself. Stern, assured, even.

I thought about anything other than watching the skin part, revealing shredded fat and torn muscle, about the blood oozing out of the wound, sliding down the hyena’s writhing chest as he struggled against his bonds, trying to escape the rough justice my mate was intent on giving him.

White noise filled my ears, buzzed in my brain, overtaking it like a swarm of wasps were invading my head. I knew it was them. I didn’t know how or why, just who. And it was overwhelming.

“Just tell us why, for God’s sake,” I shrieked, overcome, when Austin anointed the other side of his chest with a similar mark, and the beast howled.

The sound morphed into a cackle, one that I remembered from my haunted dreams, from my terrified nightmares. It sank into my bones, loading me with a fear that triggered an anger so deep, my she-wolf demanded I act. These bastards thought any and every emotion was a weakness.

It wasn’t.

Emotions, to feel them, didn’t mean someone was weak.

It was to be human.

And sometimes, being human, in a shifter world, was not a bad thing.

Of course, at that moment, I was pure she-wolf as I stormed forward and grabbed the hyena by the throat. My fingers dug into him, into the soft flesh around his windpipe as I squeezed. Mother, I squeezed so hard that it was like I was trying to squeeze the answers out of him.

“Just tell us!” I screamed, and with my spare hand, I batted at Austin and Ethan, who had rushed forward from his position against the wall to come and grab me. Even Eli sat up.

Only, I didn’t let go, and the hyena’s eyes bugged as he tried to reach for any and all air he could get.

When his face was bright pink, when his eyes were bloodshot with burst capillaries, only then did I release him and snarl, “Why?”

And the second I asked, he pissed himself and wheezed, “We were under orders!”

Of course.

Matriarchal.

I glared at my men, who raised their hands in apology, and I knew they’d been pushing me to do this. Pushing me into action.

Austin had been down here a while before they’d asked