Montana Cowboy Daddy (Wyatt Brothers of Montana #3) - Jane Porter Page 0,72

go. We don’t need you playing Nurse Nightingale. We can manage without you.”

Again, the wrong words for him to say. His words felt like gasoline hitting a fire. She just exploded, something she never, ever did. “Wow, glad we got that squared away. Thanks for explaining a lot of things I was clueless about.”

She left the kitchen and returned to her room, carefully closing the door behind her, not wanting to wake Beck.

For a long minute, she just stood, back pressed to the door, hands pinned beneath her backside, trying to stop them from trembling. She was in over her head. Go, stay, it was all the same. No matter what she did now, it would crush her. Badly.

Despite her best intentions, she’d become one of those women who held out hope that a man could change, or would change. She’d held out hope that Billy would fall in love with her, and want a life together, that those walls he’d put up around his heart would tumble down, and he’d realize that she was his other half, the one he’d been waiting for.

And yet how many times had he told her he didn’t love? That he was the Wyatt who didn’t fall in love? She’d known all of this from day one, and yet she’d still secretly hoped.

Prayed.

Believed.

She could see why she’d hoped and believed. It was easy being with Billy, so easy spending time with him. He was smart and sexy and incredibly loving with Beck. He was funny, kind, interesting. Just watching TV with him was entertaining. Going for a drive to Bryce had been the highlight of her stay. Lunch at that historic inn diner had been a treat. They’d wandered through the gift shop, showing each other this and that, as if they were a couple.

There were so many times they felt like a couple, where he, Billy Wyatt, felt like her person.

For the first time since she was seventeen she hadn’t felt alone. She had people who needed her, and people who cared for her, and this sense of belonging had made her feel… wonderful.

So no, she couldn’t blame Billy for making her feel so much. There was no blame here. She’d wanted every minute with him she could have. It had actually been selfish on her part because she’d relished, cherished feeling good. She’d loved feeling happy. She hadn’t even known it was possible to feel this way, not with someone else, not in her own skin. These past few weeks she had just loved Billy and Beck, and she’d come to love herself.

She loved herself for maybe the first time ever.

It had been a revelation to realize she didn’t need big things, she didn’t need multiple college degrees, didn’t need others to be impressed by her, either. What she needed was to feel like she belonged somewhere, and she had belonged here, even if briefly.

The idea that she had to go now was beyond devastating. But obviously she couldn’t stay. Billy had made it clear that it was time for her to move on. Her heart went out to April and all the women Billy said goodbye to. She imagined him having the goodbye conversation countless times with countless women. It’s over, time to move on, it’s been fun but we have to get on with our lives, alone.

Erika was awake most of the night, sleeping in just patches, opening her eyes every so often to look at her phone. When it was four fifteen she gave up trying to sleep, and turned on her light and packed. She tore a page from a notebook and wrote Billy a goodbye, asking him not to contact her, and to just let her go. When she was ready, she’d reach out about visits with Beck, but it might be months, might be next year. All she asked of him was to respect her need for a complete break at this time.

*

When Erika emerged from her room the next morning she was shocked to see Ellen in the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?” Erika asked.

Ellen faced her, expression neutral. “Billy texted last night and asked if I’d watch Beck today. He said you each had plans and he needed childcare.”

Erika’s heart fell. If Billy had arranged childcare, he’d expected changes today. He’d either expected her to leave, or he was going to ask her to go.

Erika glanced out the kitchen window. The sun was rising in the sky, painting the top of the mountains pink