A Monster's Beauty (In the Arms of Monsters #3) - Sam Crescent Page 0,68

as she thought about Preacher. It was easier to not think about him. To not take the time to even remember the loss. She was with Reaper now. She had to do whatever it took to survive.

Preacher was gone to her but right now, she knew she would never be able to remove his love. She loved him more than anything in the world and couldn’t stop the feelings rushing through her body at the thought of not being with him.

She sniffled again and felt a little sick, but she ignored it. All she had to do right now was ignore the pain and all the feelings.

The door opened and she looked up to see Reaper smiling. If he knew why she was crying, he’d go a bit crazy.

It was all about survival. That was what she had to do. Survive.

“Morning,” she said.

“I’ve got you breakfast.” He held up a bag for her and she forced a smile to her lips.

“Have you been crying?”

“No. I’m fine. I’m just hungry. Starving even.”

He moved toward her and as he wrapped his arms around her, she wanted to push him away. She wanted to kick him, scream, hurt, kill, but instead, she pushed all of those feelings down, locking them up tight so no one could find them. No one could see them, and she could just go about her day without a single care in the world.

He kissed her head.

He didn’t seem as happy to see her, but rather than dwell on that, she dug into her food, forcing herself to be happy. This was what she had to do. Be happy. She could do this for now, but she didn’t know if she could do it for the rest of her life.

****

Present day

The days turned to weeks, and before Robin knew it, she was nearly four months pregnant, and Christmas was around the corner. She and Preacher had enjoyed Thanksgiving with Bethany.

Life, however strange, was slowly getting back to normal, or at least, their way of normal.

Running fingers through her hair, she looked out of the library window and saw Bishop walking across the road. After a quick glance inside, she saw Anne dealing with customers at the front desk, and wrapping her cardigan around her, she rushed out.

“Bishop,” she said.

He stopped the moment she called his name, and she ran toward him.

“Hey.”

“Hey, you.”

Preacher had told her he hadn’t known what to do with his son. He was at an impasse, and in truth, she didn’t know what to do either. It was all a little confusing to her.

Licking her dry lips, she glanced around. It had started to snow.

“You love this time of year,” he said.

“Yeah, I do.” She didn’t know what to say to him.

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” he asked. “Having a lot of history between us.”

“I wanted you to die,” she said. Her stomach twisted as she revealed the truth of some of her darker thoughts.

“I guess I should’ve expected that.”

“I know it’s wrong of me to think that, but I did. I thought about it a lot.” She didn’t know why she was telling him all of this. It wasn’t like he had a right to know and yet here she was, telling him the truth when she didn’t think she’d ever be able to be in his company ever again. They were both so different now. So much had passed between them. Neither of them were the same person.

“I get it.”

“No, I don’t think you do. You … you were my best friend and I couldn’t believe you would do something so cold and yet, you did, without even caring about how it would affect me.”

“I think it’s safe to say, Robin, I wasn’t a very nice guy. You think a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about what I lost?” He laughed. “Look at me. I work at a feed store and a DIY place. I’m actually happy to be doing what I do, but it’s not who I really am. You know me. You know what I’m capable of. My place should have been with my dad. I should’ve been learning everything from him. Right now, I’m waiting. That’s all I’ve been doing for the past couple of months. I’m waiting for whatever punishment they’re going to give to me, and then if I live, I’m going to try to make a life for myself. I know people here are afraid to get to know me again. I deserve all of this,