The Moment of Letting Go - J. A. Redmerski Page 0,42
Kendra; I love you and all, but last time I checked, your name wasn’t on my birth certificate.” I take another bite.
Her small face falls under wounded wrinkles, and instantly I feel like an asshole. Shaking her head, she spears her fork angrily into her potato salad and moves it around to keep from looking at me.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “Look, she’s only gonna be here for two weeks. I don’t see her getting involved with me knowing she can’t stay here.”
Kendra looks up.
“What about the other way around?” she asks with accusation in her voice.
She got me on that one, I can’t deny … to myself, anyway; to Kendra is another story.
“I’m not going to get involved,” I tell her. “And even if I did—damn, Kendra, it’s none of your business.”
She looks hurt again, but this time I don’t relent.
“Well, it’s the truth,” I go on. “And what makes you think I haven’t decided to turn to the Seth side and I’m not just taking her home for a night?” That felt odd and sour coming out of my mouth. Because it couldn’t be further from the truth, but I don’t know what else to say to get Kendra off my case.
She guffaws, catching me off guard, and then drops her head and says, “Yeah right. You’re not cut out for the Seth side. Not anymore anyway. And that girl isn’t the one-night-stand type, and you know it.”
I look away and poke at my food.
“I’m just looking out for you,” Kendra says, dropping the humor. Then she leans forward awkwardly so her loose white tank doesn’t fall into her food. “She’s afraid of heights, Luke. Heights, of all things. If it weren’t for that blatant fucking red flag I wouldn’t be saying shit to you right now.” She pulls back and sits upright again.
Kendra makes a very valid point. She knows, I know, we ALL know relationships never work out with someone who doesn’t get our lifestyle, but I refuse to let her know I get it.
“I’m not getting involved,” I say simply and go back to my meal just as Sienna is coming down the steps of the lanai.
I reach over and move Sienna’s plate from her chair as she approaches, holding it for her until she takes her seat again. Her eyes pass over Kendra, but her beautiful smile remains in place and it only makes me like her more. I know she’s probably wondering what’s up with Kendra exactly, maybe even if Kendra and I used to go out or something, but I guess this isn’t the time or place to get into those kinds of details.
Sienna looks over at me. I smile back at her and notice her glance at Kendra once more. I’m starting to wish I hadn’t brought her here, and I probably wouldn’t have if I’d known Kendra was going to be here too.
“I really need to be getting back to my hotel,” Sienna says kindly. “I’m exhausted.”
I nod and get up with my half-eaten plate of food in my hand.
“Yeah, sure, not a problem. I’ll take you back now.”
Sienna said in the hallway that she was having a great time, but I think for the most part she was just being nice. In fact, I know it. And I feel like a total dick for bringing her here and making her feel uncomfortable.
But I still have time to fix this.
I take Sienna’s plate and stack it on top of mine.
“It was nice meeting you,” she says to Kendra.
Kendra smiles in return. “You, too,” she says and I’m glad there wasn’t any underlying meaning behind her expression that Sienna might’ve detected—at this point, I think Kendra knows better than to push me any further than she already has.
We leave and head for the bus station.
While on the bus I look over at Sienna and say, “I just want you to know that Kendra is just a friend. Well, she’s more than that—she’s like a sister to me, but that’s it.”
Sienna smiles softly and I’m not sure if she believes me or not.
“It’s all right,” she says. “Even if she was ever something more, it’s none of my business anyway.”
She doesn’t believe me. Dammit!
“I’m serious,” I tell her and lean forward from the seat so I can get her full attention. “I know she seems—”
“No, really,” Sienna cuts in, “it’s OK. You don’t have to explain anything to me.”