The Moment of Letting Go - J. A. Redmerski Page 0,109

the distance that will separate us and I don’t want to think about it: him BASE jumping, and killing himself doing it.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, his face just inches from mine.

“I’m just a little overwhelmed,” I say, and instantly the smile drops from his lips. I try to bring it back quickly. “I just mean everything that’s happened between us. I wasn’t exactly prepared for that when I boarded the plane for my job. But I’m overwhelmed in a good way.” And that’s mostly true. Never in a thousand years did I ever think I’d meet someone like Luke and be lying here right now with him underneath a Hawaiian sky, talking about a possible future together. Things this magical only happen by accident. Sometimes only once. Sometimes never.

“Are you sure?” The backs of his fingers brush the edge of my cheek.

I nod, smiling, and lean in and kiss his lips. He kisses my nose and then my forehead and pulls me closer, tucking my head beneath his chin.

“We’ll figure it out,” he says. “Who knows? You might realize you don’t like me as much as you thought you did.”

I scoff quietly, because that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

“That won’t happen,” I say and lace my fingers through his on top of his chest.

“Yeah? How do you know for sure?”

Because I think I’m falling for you, and it’s breaking my heart to know that in a couple days there will be an ocean between us … And because …

“I just know,” I say out loud and choke down the pain of my inner thoughts.

“You were right,” I speak up after a long time.

“About what?”

“About at least two of the three things you said would happen before I went home.”

“Oh yeah?” There’s a huge smile in his voice. “Which one was I wrong about?”

“That photography would take the place of everything else in my life.”

We lie together for a long time, talking about our families and our firsts: first kisses, first time we had sex, first bad breakup—his first kiss was age thirteen, mine age fifteen. He lost his virginity at sixteen. I lost mine at seventeen to a football player who I liked a lot, until I had sex with him. Probably had something to do with the weird noises he made when he was on top of me. Luke laughs at the expression on my face as I tell him about it.

“Now I know how to get you good if you ever piss me off,” he says. “I’ll make sounds like a hippo giving birth when we have sex.” He laughs hard.

I smack him on the knee. “You better not!” My eyes are wide and I’m trying not to smile. He grabs me and kisses me hard and then makes a weird noise into my mouth that makes me choke with laughter and play-kick him right off of me.

We didn’t even realize when the clouds had started rolling in and then without warning the sky opens up true Kauai style and sends us scrambling to get our stuff off the ground.

“My camera!” I shout over the rain thrusting into the ground like a million tiny marbles.

Luke scoops my camera up and covers it with his body until I can get my purse open and make room for it. Then he grabs the blanket and the rest of our stuff from the grass and we run to his car parked a few yards away in a parking lot. The drive back to his house is gross and uncomfortable. We’re drenched right down to our underwear, and our clothes soak the fabric of the car seats. I just feel icky and want to strip off my clothes right here, but I refrain. I don’t want to pull into the drive at Luke’s house and be naked if Seth happens to be there already.

Sometime today Seth and Kendra are coming over. Now that things have been cleared up between Luke and me, I wanted Luke to know that I thought it was important he invite Kendra over. So that’s what I did just before we got rained on. I like her now that I know more about what’s going on. And I know she’s an important person in Luke’s life and they need to make up.

Luke comes back with some beer, and I’m trying to clean the place up before they get here—old habits. I wash our dishes and wipe off the counters. The stereo is on low in the background,