On top of that, when Brother Kraft asked, Jase couldn’t honestly say the ring hadn’t gone missing in San Antonio. How many people had been in and out of his townhouse before he moved? The landlord showed the place to several potential renters. He’d packed the whatnot box without looking inside. The ring might’ve never made it to Kansas.
Consequently, Jase had agreed to keep the incident between them and pray for discernment. Well, Brother Kraft was welcome to pray. Jase would be quiet and keep an eye on Cullen for signs of guilt. He’d do a couple of other things, too. He might as well send a query to FinderznotKeeperz. Since the post originated with Sister Eileen, it stood to reason the ring had been found in San Antonio. A long shot? Sure. But it wouldn’t hurt to ask. And he’d file a report with the police. They would notify pawn shop owners and other channels, so if the ring turned up somewhere, Jase would find out about it.
In the meantime, Brother Kraft had suggested searching through the whatnot box, his dresser drawers, anyplace else the velvet case might have been where it could’ve been bumped open and spilled the ring. But if that was true, the actual ring box would still be open. It wouldn’t shut itself, would it? Then again, maybe it could. The spring was pretty strong. Too strong to be bumped open?
He shut down his inner voice. It was talking him in circles.
He flipped the hallway light off, plunging the church into darkness. He stood in the deep shadows, staring into nothing. The initial shock of realizing the ring was gone had faded, and fury crept in. Wasn’t it enough that he lost the woman he loved? Did he now have to lose his last link to her? He’d begged God to prove His presence to Jase, and instead of showing up and giving peace, He’d taken something else away.
A growl found its way past his clenched teeth. The next lesson for the youth was from the latter verses of John’s first chapter. Specifically, the part where Jesus’s disciples invited those who doubted that anything good could arise from Nazareth to come meet Jesus and see for themselves. “Come and see…” Could he really invite the kids to come and see Someone from whom Jase was feeling increasingly distant? How could he convince them that Jesus would always be there for them when he wasn’t completely sure about it himself?
“It’s not fair, God. It’s not fair that I lost Rachel and now I’ve lost her ring. Her ring!” His words echoed against the walls, stinging him with the reality. “It’s…not…fair.”
He’d said the same thing after Rachel died. He still didn’t understand. They were in the car together. He’d suffered bruises, a broken arm, and a concussion. No life-altering injuries. She’d died. Side by side yet miles apart in the damage done. Again and again he’d questioned it, railing against the unfairness of it, and finally Brother Tony, his wonderful minister and mentor, had grabbed him in a vice-grip hug and declared in his ear, “Life isn’t always fair, Jase, but let me tell you something—God is always faithful.”
Brother Tony’s voice returned again, just as forceful, just as confident, just as tough loving. Jase hadn’t believed it then. Oh, he believed the unfairness part. If life was fair, he wouldn’t have been born to an unmarried, mentally ill woman who’d neglected him. If life was fair, he would’ve had a stable home and a family to call his own. He knew without a doubt life wasn’t fair. But God always faithful? No. In his deep sorrow, he hadn’t believed it then. And he didn’t believe it now. Maybe he never would.
Wichita
Lori
Lori stared at the few remaining moist crumbs stuck to the sides of the pan. Had she really eaten every remaining brownie? The equivalent of a dozen in all. And out of a trash bag, at that. Her stomach hurt. But more than that, her soul hurt.
Why did she do this to herself? Time and again she reached for food. She ate when she was happy. She ate when she was sad. She ate when she was confused or angry. Time and again she was left with guilt and more pounds and self-loathing. Time and again she promised God she was done. When she said it, she meant it—she was really done with gorging herself. But over and over