into his Chevy, then pulled out her cell phone and hit Trace’s speed dial, still not sure what to say. Of course, it went to voice mail just as it had five minutes ago. She wouldn’t leave another message. She’d already asked him to come back so she could explain.
Why hadn’t she just said right then that Luis was lying? No, she should have told Trace the whole story. She’d been dreaming when she thought she could really have a new life, that all of her sins were in the past. She’d dared to think she didn’t have to live and die in the same three square miles of her childhood. But she’d let her guilt, her shame, get the best of her.
She had to find him, to tell him the truth and to admit she’d been a fool for not telling him everything. She wasn’t nearly as brave as he thought she was. The truth was, she’d been a coward, running from her past. Maybe she should keep on running. She’d take Wallace’s money and start a whole new life, somewhere no one knew her. Now she knew better than to fall for a pair of green eyes and a broad chest. Love was for other people. Not for the likes of her.
Tears welled, and she swiped them away with the back of her hand. Wallace, you win.
Nikki’s breath caught at the terrible thought. No. He wasn’t right about her, dammit. She was better than that. Stronger. She’d made mistakes, and this one might just kill her, but this time she wouldn’t be running from her mistake—the real mistake would be to run and leave the most amazing man she’d ever met.
The only thing she could do now was to own up to everything. To be the woman Trace thought she was. She’d stay, finish her night at work, knowing everyone in there would be staring and talking about her. But that didn’t matter. She’d come too far to let the old Nikki have her way. The brave Nikki was going to walk back into that bar with her head up.
* * *
TRACE STOOD OUTSIDE the door to the Watering Hole, dreading the spectacle. Nothing a bunch of drunk cowboys liked more than a free show, and they’d already gotten the first act. He thought about waiting for the place to close, but screw that. His pride had cost him too much already. Now that he’d seen her truck was still there, he wasn’t going to let anything stop him from walking inside and seeing for himself that Nikki wasn’t in trouble.
As he pulled the door open, the music hit him like a wave, but just his luck, the goddamn song ended. Every eye was on him.
His gaze went to the bar, and there she was. She hadn’t seen him yet, but the sudden silence made her turn. Her look of uncertainty and fear made the rest of the world disappear. He made it across the floor without feeling a step. “Are you okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “I was sixteen. I was hurting after Garret. I was an ass. I’m so sorry.”
“So he was telling the truth?”
Her cringe made him ache. “No. Well, not exactly. We went over the border and got married. My mother had it annulled by the end of the week.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me? I thought you trusted me.”
She let out a small whimper. “I do, but I was ashamed. I’d already told you some things about my past, but I was afraid to admit how crazy it had gotten. I’m not the girl next door.”
The crack of a pool rack breaking apart split the quiet, and someone coughed, but Trace didn’t care. “I know that,” he said. “I don’t want the girl next door. I want you, just the way you are.”
“You don’t, though. You don’t know—”
“We sat in this very bar back in February, and you told me all I needed to hear about who you were. I was hooked. Still am. You’re not the only one who’s been holding back. I should have told you before tonight.” He leaned over and caught her hand. It was ice-cold and felt so fragile. “Rachel told me a long time ago that when I finally fell, I’d fall hard. I hate to admit it, but she was spot-on. I love you, Nikki. I kept telling myself I was too young to say those words, but not saying the words doesn’t make it less true.”