Clive nodded as he observed Keisha carefully counting his pulse and only releasing his wrist once she’d taken a recording.
‘All okay?’
‘Your heart rate is perfect. No changes to usual despite the afternoon you’ve had.’
‘It has been quite the afternoon.’
‘Do you want to tell me about it? Do you want to tell me what you’ve remembered?’
Clive swallowed. He knew both their stories needed to be shared. ‘I can’t say it’s completely clear yet. I only seem to remember fragments.’
‘Fragments are fine. I don’t think you can ever force the mind to remember. If that was possible, I’m sure you would have made those memories arrive much earlier.’
That was true. If Clive had remembered Nancy earlier he would have acted on it far before the eve year of his eighties. ‘Are you braced for this?’
‘Only if you’re braced to hear my story afterwards.’ Keisha sat next to him on the sofa, the room barren without its many trinkets.
‘Of course.’ Clive held Keisha’s hand as if they would steady each other along the way. ‘My mind has really jumbled a lot of things over the past few weeks. It’s an improvement on the lost knowledge that I’d been living with, but it means nothing is as clear as it should be. What the doctors put down to delirium was on the most part, but it was delirium based on true events that I’d long since forgotten. Coming back here has made me remember some things, but not everything. I know what sparked it, though… When I was at the allotment, I met one of the new allotment holders. I knew there was something familiar about him, but I didn’t know what. That’s why I wrote that note. I was trying to remember. It was only when I was on my way home today that it came to me. He was one of the attackers. He had aged, obviously, but he had a tattoo on his forearm that I recognised straight away. A mermaid with anchors all the way along her tail. Recalling that brought everything back in an instant. All those missing years returned as jumbled memories that I’m still only beginning to make sense of.’
Keisha smoothed Clive’s palm, her expression aghast, as he continued.
‘When it happened all those years ago, I somehow managed to stagger home. I collapsed in the kitchen and nearly bled out. I have a feeling it was Nancy who found me. It was her that had a life entirely changed that day and she’s had to wait fifty-five years for me to remember who she is. To know that she was the woman I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with.’
‘Oh, Clive. Has it really taken seeing who did this to bring it all back?’
Clive nodded sagely. ‘It would seem life has been cruel enough to let that happen.’
‘But we know about Nancy now. It can be different.’
‘Don’t go spouting anything about second chances. You saw how upset she was.’
Keisha tightened her grip on Clive’s hand. ‘If I’m honest, I’m surprised she was so prepared to go along with the idea. I think she genuinely thought that you wouldn’t remember her and it was just a way of closing that chapter for the final time.’
‘And now who knows where that chapter is heading. Now tell me, before we lose our chance. What is this chapter of your life you’ve never told anyone about?’
53
Keisha
I decide to take my pulse on finding comfort from taking Clive’s. It gives me a chance to feel the scar and decide if I really want him to know. The secret I’ve based a lifetime on and yet kept totally and utterly to myself.
‘I’ve broken a heart before,’ I say, knowing it to be true in every sense.
‘How so?’ Clive asks.
As I peer into his crystal-blue eyes, I realise that it’s easy to tell a soul that has borne the same responsibility. And even though it is neither of our faults, it still feels like it sits squarely on our shoulders. The burden of it all too difficult to take.
‘I caused this scar myself.’ I have a feeling Clive knows that already. ‘I was fifteen and I decided I wasn’t able to carry on. I’d always been bullied for being different. For being odd. I thought everything would be better if I wasn’t about so I tried to take my own life.’
‘And what happened?’ Clive’s voice is gentle as he asks the question.