checked in the nearby charity shop to ask if they’ve seen him.
George cups my face with his hands once we’re in his car and dabs away my tears with a tissue.
‘Look, I know you’re worried, but you need to think positively. For all we know they might have taken the opportunity to book into a local hotel to make up for the past fifty-five years. We just have to hope he can last longer than my three minutes if that’s the case.’ George smiles an impossibly beautiful smile. ‘This doesn’t mean that it’s all gone terribly wrong.’
‘I know, it’s just…’ I don’t know how to tell George I’m worrying about history repeating itself. Not in an eloquent, clear way at least. ‘His heart.’
‘Hopefully his heart is ticking by fine, even if it is in shock. Right, now let’s work this out. Where would Clive have gone? Do you know Nancy’s address? Is there any chance he could have gone there?’
‘No, I only have her phone number.’ The sentence makes me realise how my thought process is malfunctioning. ‘But I have his phone number. I can call Clive!’
I don’t know why I didn’t do that first before running along nearby streets. Being able to get hold of Clive is why we got him a mobile in the first place. As it starts to ring, I wonder if he’ll answer. I can’t shake the images of him having collapsed somewhere nearby out of my head. I know what can happen to a heart under stress, one that’s unable to cope with the shock it’s been exposed to. It’s hard to imagine anything else when you’ve had first-hand experience of what happens.
Every time the phone rings at the other end, it increases the pressure on my heart. The seesawing of it with each swell and release is pushing down into my stomach cavity with each trill that doesn’t get a reply.
‘Please answer.’ I look to the sky as if I believe that’s where some source of hope is at. ‘Please let him answer.’
‘Hello. Have I pressed the right button? Can you hear me?’
I thank the clouds and any entities beyond them.
‘Clive, where are you?’ A few tears of relief spring from me, the panic yet to subside.
‘I’m at the house.’
‘The house? Which one?’
‘Home. I decided it was time to come home.’
‘You’re at the flat? Or the house?’ I’m not sure why I need to clarify, but the part of me that knows Clive is never going to be able to return to his home can’t quite catch up with what he’s saying.
‘I’m at my house. I needed to come home. I needed to see if I remember.’
‘We’re coming over. I’ve got George with me. Don’t go anywhere.’
‘Is everything okay?’ George asks once I’ve hung up.
I’m crying without checking how much of a mess I am. There are tears streaming down my cheeks. I take a moment to wipe my face to make sure I’m passable, although I’m no doubt well past that point.
‘Clive’s at his house. I should never have agreed to this happening.’ I feel like I’ve opened a can of worms and it’s not one where I’ll ever be able to put the lid back on.
‘Don’t go trying to blame yourself. Nancy was happy to do it. Nobody knew how it was going to go. Consider it an experiment and hopefully it won’t take much clearing up.’
‘I just feel like I’ve let Clive down. He’s my friend and I chose to do it this way rather than tell him.’
George takes a tissue from the pack I’m holding and dabs my face some more, the flow continuing.
‘But you did it for the right reasons. I imagine you’ve been the best friend that Clive has ever had. You and Tess have done everything you possibly can for him these past few weeks. He might not have any daughters, but he seems to have gained one or two. Possibly three if we count Lucy.’
‘And maybe a son, too,’ I say, considering the role George is playing in Clive’s life too.
‘Well, no.’
‘No? You’ve been a major help. You’re about to drive me to his so we can make sure he’s okay. I think he’d consider you in that way.’
‘Still no. If you’re an honorary daughter, I can’t take up the role of honorary son. It would be far too incestuous.’
For the umpteenth time, my stomach flutters in George’s presence. ‘What do you mean?’
For the first time, I notice how George is looking at me. I