what to do with it. As far as Clive is concerned, Nancy has already died. He imagined her being killed only to be told she isn’t real. It will be a cruel blow to tell him that we were all wrong. That in fact she does exist, but died long ago.
He doesn’t need to suffer all over again. Nobody does.
44
Clive
For the rest of that day, Keisha was preoccupied. Clive noticed she didn’t take up the offer of biscuits later in the afternoon and focussed solely on her computer, leaving Clive and Lucy to get to know each other a bit better. Already he knew she was all heart.
The good thing was that Keisha had managed to speak to George and he was able to drop him off to visit the flat and the allotment the following day, which soon came around. It was a relief to get there, George checking he was okay before waving goodbye.
Clive had wanted to get his head round this next move some more. He was at the point where everything was in place to exchange and complete. All he had to do was give the go ahead. But he was stalling and said he wanted one last visit to double-check some measurements. That wasn’t the real reason though. He wanted to gain some sense that he was doing the right thing and hoped a further visit would do that.
Inspecting the flat for a second time, Clive was aware how bland the space was. It was also tiny compared to the home he was used to, but this was his best bet, wasn’t it?
Clive traced his way around each of the rooms once again, trying to garner more enthusiasm for the space. It reminded him of the sleep lab. There was everything that he would need, but that was it. It was a tick-box home. All the practicalities that would make life function were there: a place to wash, a place to cook, a place to sit, a place to sleep. There was nothing fundamentally wrong with it, it was just lacking that sense of home.
It was something Clive was going to have to get used to though. Plenty of people his age ended up in places they didn’t consider home. And his old house wasn’t home any more either.
‘All okay here?’ The overenthusiastic salesman was back, even though Clive had asked for some time alone.
‘They don’t put much colour in these places, do they?’
The salesman glanced around. ‘It’s a lovely blank canvas, isn’t it? They do it deliberately so whoever moves in can add whatever personal touches they like. You can have it painted whatever colour you prefer.’
Clive wondered how odd it would look if he locked himself in the bathroom. He wasn’t too worried about coming across as rude. Not only had this man not listened to his request of leaving him alone, the touch of condescension in his voice was almost too much to bear.
‘I’m an old man. I’d much rather it came with those added touches.’
Rather than wait for further patronising, Clive set off for the other thing he was here for. He’d been lucky that George had agreed to drop him off here before his shift. He had a shorter one today and would pick him up at the allotment in about five hours’ time, if he stayed that long. Clive was using it as an opportunity to have a proper day at the allotment. Visiting the flat was just an added distraction.
‘I can get some numbers for reliable painters and decorators if you need.’
Clive was being followed and, unfortunately, these days, he wasn’t really able to pick up the pace.
‘What I needed was to admire the space without interruption. Perhaps then my vision might have been given the opportunity to explore its full potential. As it stands, I haven’t conjured up any colour palettes so I’m off.’
‘Apologies, Mr Ellington. Call me as soon as you’d like another look.’
Outside, more signs of spring had started to appear: daffodils blooming along pavements, tree blossoms starting to flourish. It was Clive’s favourite time of year. The time when the plans he’d made over winter could be put into action. Because of the drama of the past few weeks, he hadn’t decided what he was going to sow where and what he’d like to grow the most this year. Today he’d be able to make some more concrete choices.
If nothing else, he wanted to prep some of the ground. There were bound to be