for my liking, but that can be added.’ The one-bedroom flat had reminded him of Keisha’s shared house. All very practical, everything where it should be, but lacking any injection of personality. He wondered what charity-shop trinkets he would be able to find to brighten up the place.
‘Is it near enough to the allotment? I don’t think we’ll find anywhere closer.’
‘I know it’s close enough, but I wasn’t about to sign anything that quickly. I don’t like salespeople who are like that. Too pushy for their own good. I’m lucky in that I inherited the house I live in. I’ve never had to pay a mortgage so I have enough saved to buy the flat, but people like that never make me feel encouraged to hand money over.’
‘Ah, so you’re making him wait.’
‘Of course. Plus it’s an excellent chance for you to see my pride and joy. See how it’s faring with me being away. You don’t mind, do you? If I’m keeping you, please say.’ Perhaps seeing it in daylight would bring back the memories that had been missing the other night.
‘No, you’re good. I’ve got as long as it takes.’
When they reached the T-junction, Clive hesitated. It was a glimpse into his old life. If he chose to wander down the side road rather than over to the allotment, he’d be heading back to his house. He glanced across, recalling the many times he’d strolled along here with his wheelbarrow. Empty when he ventured out, full when he returned home. Had there really never been anyone to receive him at the other end?
‘Are you sure you don’t want to at least see it before making any big decisions? You don’t have to go in,’ George asked, seeing his hesitation.
The upset of knowing Nancy wouldn’t be there caught Clive unawares. There was a swell in his throat so big that he yanked a hankie out of his pocket in preparation.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, wiping his tears away one by one.
‘You don’t need to be sorry. I think I have my answer. I asked to be certain.’
‘Maybe one day I’ll be able to walk by without getting upset. But if I can’t even glance up the avenue without it happening, it’s not going to be any time soon.’
Clive finished wiping his face and placed his handkerchief neatly in his jacket pocket. ‘Come and see my pride and joy.’
The allotment was definitely more scraggly than usual, but not as bad as he’d imagined it would be. He had a feeling some of his allotment pals who knew he’d been poorly had been doing a bit of tinkering to keep it tidy at the very least.
‘It’s impressive,’ George said, taking in the strip of land and admiring the rest of the plots.
Clive spotted Frank was busy weeding on his, two rows up. He’d know about any new owners. ‘Go and admire my polytunnels. Made them myself. I’m just going to say a quick hello to Frank.’
It was nice to see a familiar face.
‘Alright, Clive. You’re looking well. How’s it going? You going to be back soon?’
Clive spent a moment filling in Frank on his health, letting him know he was moving somewhere smaller and then he’d be back.
‘Can I ask you something, Frank? Did I ever talk to you about someone called Nancy?’
If she was real, he surely would have talked about her to his friends.
Frank, who was leaning on his shovel, shook his head. ‘You’ve never mentioned anyone called Nancy.’
‘Oh.’ Clive wasn’t sure why it was a surprise. ‘Do any of the new allotment holders go by that name?’
Perhaps that was the link. Maybe he’d met someone by that name, fallen instantly in love, and found himself in a delirious state over the whole thing.
‘No. Both new owners are chaps. Haven’t had a chance to introduce myself yet, but I haven’t seen them here with any family or anything. Why?’
‘Oh, nothing.’ It was nothing. Not the answer he’d hoped for.
‘You okay?’ George asked once Clive had returned.
He wished he knew.
The allotment, at least, was neutral ground. Here the mishmash of memories was less noticeable. This was his shed. His tools. His hobby.
Here he didn’t have to miss his wife. He just had to try his hardest not to dwell on the fact she wasn’t waiting for him at home.
33
Keisha
I have lots of questions building up. I want to ask Clive about his past. I want to ask where he went last Friday. I want to ask how the flat viewing went.