After serving in the army, he’d become a postman. He’d enjoyed the exercise it had required and much preferred putting hours into walking and getting to know the community around him to working in an office. It was what made the world work, he’d mused… The fact that no two people were made the same, and he relished the opportunity to mix with everyone.
When he’d retired, he’d found the allotment occupied him enough to fill his time.
Despite having never held an office job, he was quite capable of answering a phone. It made him chuckle that Keisha had little prompts printed out and Blu-Tacked to various places around the laboratory. Fortunately they hadn’t been placed there for his benefit, so he was saved that insult. But she did like to refer to them just in case he didn’t understand.
The one on the telephone was more of a checklist than one simple instruction.
State Good Morning/Afternoon depending on the time of day.
State where they’ve called: Southampton University Cardiology Research Department.
State who’s speaking, for example, Good Afternoon, Southampton University Cardiology Department, John speaking.
Ask how you can help.
It was quite the list.
Clive’s morning task was to answer the phone. It was simple enough if not a tad boring. More than once he was tempted to introduce himself as John, just to see if Keisha noticed. He had a feeling it wouldn’t take much to send her over the edge, so he thought better of it. She was likely to send him back to the hospital with signs of confusion. She’d looked ready to do that earlier when he’d said he’d not smoked for years. The truth be told he hadn’t known what had come over him. He was denying it at the same time as recalling the few puffs he’d had not long before. Muddled sometimes didn’t come close enough to describing how his memory was working these days.
Rather than stress out Keisha for his own amusement, Clive took himself on mini jaunts around the lab to read the other labels. The place looked different in the daylight. More functional. Less lonely.
The small kitchenette was the most fertile area for instructions. Not only did it hold the usual warnings about hot water and ‘please switch off after use’ labels, there were also several that Keisha had obviously added to help her absent colleague. They included:
Please wash up mugs after use and return to the cupboard.
Please unplug the kettle at the end of the day.
The fridge was a positive Mecca for the signs and was obviously a source of some anguish between workmates.
Please remove any leftover lunch items in a timely manner.
Milk to be taken home on Friday.
Any out-of-date food will be removed and disposed of.
Only eat your own food supplies. Please don’t take what doesn’t belong to you.
It made Clive chuckle. It would seem this fridge had seen quite a bit of action.
The most worrying label in the kitchen was the one that stated: ABSOLUTELY NO metals in the microwave.
‘Everything okay?’ Keisha asked, poking her head round into the alcove as she took a break from her computer screen that was full of numbers.
‘Just stretching my legs between phone calls. Would you like a drink while I’m up?’ He might as well make himself useful. He wasn’t exactly rushed off his feet.
‘A tea would be great. Do you need any help?’
‘It’s okay. I can handle making a cuppa. Now, tell me, are all these labels here because these things actually happened?’
Keisha returned to her chair and leaned back a little. ‘Every. Single. One.’ She punctuated the words and rolled her eyes to the ceiling as if she’d been awaiting counsel on the matter for a very long time.
‘Even metal in the microwave?’
‘Yep. Admittedly it was a soup sachet that had some metal as part of the lining, but it would have only taken a few seconds to read the instructions properly to realise it needed pouring into a bowl. Lucy’s savvy enough, she’s just always in a rush.’
‘I hope it didn’t cause too much damage.’
‘Fortunately the noise it made meant we reacted quickly and got it out before the sparks actually set anything alight.’
‘That was lucky. Do the labels help?’ Clive gestured to another one he’d just spotted above the light switch stating it needed to be switched off when leaving at the end of the day.
‘They help me. It means I can point out I have already told her if she ends up doing it again. Don’t get me wrong, we get