So when Clive visits he can have some meals on the house. It’s working great and it’s nice to know some people are being helped along the way.’ While Tess speaks she manages to negotiate the coffee machine and ensures the orders go through to the breakfast chef in the kitchen.
‘That’s amazing. And talking of Clive, he should really be here by now.’ I take two more orders and realise that Tess is fine without my help. Seeing her waltz behind the counter is a bit like watching a Dancing on Ice audition, only if I were the partner, we’d end up getting zero points for our scores.
I manoeuvre out of the way and return to my usual table to stare at the door intensely, willing Clive to appear.
‘He may have taken a wrong turn somewhere?’ Tess offers.
‘He said he would be able to find his way here without any problems. I would have met him and shown him the way if I thought he might get lost.’ I should have gone back to escort him here.
In the night, I made a long list of potential problems I might face with Clive staying at the sleep lab. All of them are hypothetical, of course, but they all have scope, including:
An elephant (on the scale of a dinosaur) might stampede over campus, taking the sleep lab down with them.
An audit might occur without any prior notification of it happening.
Another discovery of an unexploded WW2 bomb resulting in an emergency evacuation in the middle of the night.
A swarm of flying ants might take over the university grounds.
The list of possibilities is extensive and growing, but as I sit here waiting I realise the list is all wrong. What I haven’t really given enough thought to is Clive himself. He is the biggest variable in amongst this whole thing. The university has its pattern of behaviour: doors that are closed at particular times, security patrols that occur at certain hours, authorised staff only allowed in defined areas. Those aren’t the things I should be worrying about. It’s Clive. Clive with the heart condition. Clive with the recent history of hallucinations. Clive who might fall. Clive who might become confused again.
Not so long ago he was found collapsed at his allotment believing unimaginable things. Had I really thought him able to navigate his way successfully out of an unfamiliar building to a place he’s never been before? It was a very illogical thing to presume and yet because he had stated it would be no problem, I simply took his word for it.
It is in this moment I realise that perhaps this whole plan is more than just allowing this man somewhere to sleep for a while. For the period that he is staying in the lab, I am his custodian.
‘I’d better see if I can go and find him,’ I say, no longer able to nurse my anxieties in the bottom of a coffee cup.
‘Let me know when you do. If he’s gone missing, I can shut up shop. I’m sure some of the customers wouldn’t mind looking round the local streets if needed. Especially if it’s because he’s only gone and got lost.’
I head outside into the brisk wind, the grey clusters of clouds readying themselves to bring a storm. My heart hammers, bouncing on my sternum as if it’s a trampoline and I can feel the heat in my cheeks as my body responds to the notion that Clive isn’t where he should be. The weather doesn’t help my concern, seeing as it isn’t far off turning. A true British spring in the making.
‘You alright, Keish? You look like you’ve been running,’ a voice says as soon as I’ve left the café.
It’s Clive, sitting on the only chair not in view from inside the café. He’s smoking a cigarette.
It’s the first time in my life that I’ve ever wanted to strangle someone. Not least because of his casual shortening of my name, making it sound like ‘quiche’.
‘It’s Keisha,’ I point out. ‘And surely you shouldn’t be smoking?’ I waft away any lingering trails of smoke that the wind pushes back.
‘Old habits die hard, I’m afraid. One of the students offered me one and I couldn’t resist. Nancy always hated me smoking, but I’m from a generation that didn’t realise there was much wrong with it at the time. And if there was ever a time I’ve needed a fag, well, the last few weeks have certainly been it. I figured one