well, that explains a lot.’ Tess takes her place on my regular table, bringing her lunch with her. Some days are quieter here and the number of customers varies with the café being slightly off the beaten track. It’s a hidden gem.
Tess’s food always consists of what is surplus to requirements; whatever needs using up lands on her plate. Today it’s yesterday’s pasta-salad special with a side of pea and ham soup. ‘Have you ever been in close proximity to anyone you’d describe as eccentric?’
‘Not if I can help it. I think you know me well enough to know I don’t like anything that’s unpredictable. That doesn’t just apply to humans.’
‘So what happened to conclude that this man is unpredictable?’
‘I didn’t get any of the information I needed because he took all his heart monitor leads off and started dancing before I had the chance to.’
‘Dancing! No wonder that took you by surprise. Did you join in?’
‘No, I ran away.’ I find myself surprised at being so honest. Tess and I are united by coffee and paninis and the occasional slice of cake. There is often no reason to talk about the bigger things when we seem to get along perfectly fine with the mundane of everyday.
‘Will you still be able to use him as a participant?’
I scoop up some chilli onto a spoon, ravenous now. It’s a tad cooler than usual, but I’m so hungry I don’t care too much for the temperature. I shrug my shoulders to remain polite by not talking with my mouth full.
‘Graham, the head of the department, and Dr Hutchins, his consultant, have said he sends his apologies and would still like to take part in the study. Apparently he has a particular love for vegetables and doesn’t want to miss the opportunity to prove they have health benefits. I need all the participants we can get for the takotsubo study. I’ve said I’ll go back, but Lucy is going to come with me this time.’ My heart rate is up just thinking about the interaction.
‘You don’t sound like you want to.’
I eat more chilli and will the subject to change. ‘It was an odd experience. I’m not sure how to explain it, but it left me feeling sad. They keep saying his case is complicated. I’m worried his story might break my heart the same as it did his.’
It hadn’t been the pickled-onion shenanigans or the story of meeting Nancy or the wanting to dance that had made me sense that. It had been the look in Clive’s eyes.
‘He probably is feeling sad. I would be if I was stuck in hospital. Perhaps it rubbed off on you. But he was jolly enough to want to dance by the end of it. Maybe you visiting him and letting him participate in your study will do him some good.’
I nod, finding comfort in Tess’s analysis. Generally I find it hard to read people. Especially ones that are crying one minute and dancing the next. ‘I’ll let you know how we get on. Now tell me about numbers forty and forty-one.’ I’m glad to be able to move on the conversation, even if it is a subject I normally avoid.
This is one experiment where I’m not heavily involved in the admin. Tess is the orchestrator and has been more than happy to carry it out. And I’m more than happy to let her. The sooner we fulfil the conditions of this experiment, the sooner it’ll be over. She’s convinced I should be able to find love if I give it a chance. I’m optimistic that I can get through all one hundred without that happening. Perhaps then she’ll let me give up on dating.
‘Do you want to see the next candidates?’ Tess makes it sound as if we are trying to find someone suitable for the next general election.
‘I guess so.’ There’s not a hint of enthusiasm in my voice.
Tess goes and gets her phone, spending a few minutes accessing the app and finding the profiles she wants to show me. I use the time to wipe my plate clean and, as it’s been a stressful week, I decide a second flat white is going to be in order.
‘I knew we should never have downloaded the app onto your phone. You need to start using it for yourself at some point.’ I smirk as Tess hands it over.
‘Nah. I’ve told you before. I’ve had my first love and it didn’t work out. My second love