Mismatched Under the Mistletoe - Jess Michaels Page 0,42

she understood anything when it came to attraction or desire or love. Her entire world had been turned on its head, after all.

She let out a long breath. Behind the crowd, two of the swans had moved to the shore. They were wandering together, close to each other’s sides. From the angle she and Virginia were standing, they almost looked like their wings were clasped, even though that wasn’t possible.

“Swans mate for life, you know,” she mused softly.

For a long beat, Virginia didn’t answer. But finally she said, “Sometimes.”

Emily wrinkled her brow. “What do you mean?”

“My father was obsessed with ornithology, along with a great many other things. And apparently there are cases of swan separation. Even divorce.”

Emily couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of a bird divorce. “Scandalous!”

Virginia giggled along with her. “And there’s also—”

She cut herself off with a blush and her expression made Emily’s stomach sink. “Also what?” she pressed.

Virginia shook her head. “You’ve been a kind hostess and I would not wish to offend you.”

“How would the topic of swan husbandry offend me?” Emily asked.

“Because you and I had very different circumstances in our marriage,” Virginia said. “It is well known you and Rutledge were a love match. So certain topics may be more painful for you.”

Emily shifted slightly. “What is the other reason you have for swans not mating for life?”

Virginia faced her straight on. “Widowed swans often go on to make new matches.”

Emily found herself glancing out at Cav again. He was still with Lady Abigail and they were talking away from the rest of the group. She was very pretty. Emily didn’t want to care about that. She didn’t want to care at all.

“I hope that will be true for you,” she forced herself to say.

Virginia watched her closely for a moment and then nodded. “Perhaps.” She turned aside and watched the crowd again. “Either way, I suppose Cavendish will certainly marry soon.”

Emily swallowed hard. “You—you are the second person to make that statement to me during this party. I wonder where the rumors are originating from.”

“Everywhere,” Virginia said gently. “It is on the lips of nearly every mama or chaperone preparing their soon-to-be-minted Diamonds of the First Water. He is of an age, is he not? And certainly it is expected of him to wed, he has his fortune to protect and his family line.”

All those things were very true. Emily could find no way to deny them, not that she should. She’d always known Cav would wed, hadn’t she? Even in these last few years when she’d depended so heavily on him, she had thought about who might make him a good bride…hadn’t she?

She must have. A good friend would do so. She was his good friend. That they’d started an affair had nothing to do with anything.

“I suppose he’s always enjoyed his bachelorhood so much, it’s hard to picture him settled,” Emily said. Lied. She could very easily picture him reading out a book with someone he loved. Or strolling through a garden patiently scribbling down every note about every flower. Or any of the other dozens of things he’d done with her.

“You mean his reputation as a rake?” Virginia asked. She glanced off toward Cav and shook her head. “I don’t know. I mean, we’ve all heard the stories. He’s boisterous and playful and sometimes a tiny bit inappropriate. And he’d had his share of widows and actresses, I suppose. But never a mistress. The tales of his conquests have…quieted in the last few years especially.”

Emily bent her head and stared at her hands, clenched along the bridge top. “He’s been busy, I suppose.”

“Do you think it’s that or—”

Emily jolted, for she was certain Virginia was about to point out the connection Emily couldn’t bear to consider at present. To keep that from happening, she straightened up. “It looks as though the others are motioning to us to join them. I need to put on my skates, but you shouldn’t wait for me.”

Virginia looked at her, and Emily thought there was a modicum of pity in her eyes as she did so. Then she squeezed Emily’s hand gently. “Of course.”

Emily could say nothing else as Virginia eased her way back on the ice. She forced herself to put her back to the others as she put on her own skates. This was exactly what she’d feared when she agreed to Cav’s suggestion that they could share pleasure but not endanger their friendship. A reasonable, rational woman would walk