Mismatched Under the Mistletoe - Jess Michaels Page 0,31

her matchmaking kingdom. In the last five days, he’d watched her move her pieces around the chessboard, placing ladies with gentlemen, forcing them into positions where they would talk or play together. But her matchmaking was failing.

Tonight the table was listless. Conversations were subdued if they happened at all. The gentlemen talked to each other, the ladies amongst themselves and with their chaperones.

Emily’s experiment seemed to be a failure. And from the frown on her face, that troubled her deeply. She had always been the type to think of something wild and wonderful and play it out. She’d taken to new hobbies easily and enjoyed all types of pastimes. Sometimes they didn’t work, but she’d also taken her losses with a laugh. She’d always been able to see them as a way to learn, rather than something darker or more desperate.

But this…this was different. She looked truly troubled by the fact her matchmaking wasn’t going as planned. Her nostrils flared slightly, her hands shook as she lifted her wineglass to her lips, she was distracted when a servant came to take her plate.

Why, he couldn’t understand. But he needed to. He needed to reach out and offer her the help and comfort she had asked him here to provide. The friendship he’d been providing for a decade.

But not tonight. Tonight she was too fraught when she looked at him. It was best to leave her be. Let her settle and see that he wouldn’t push her into something she needed more time to allow.

But tomorrow, he was going to talk to her. About the party. About them. About everything.

Chapter 8

Six Geese A-Laying

The next morning dawned cold and crisp, and Cav could see his breath as he swung down from his horse, Hank, patting the animal’s flank gently. Once again he’d been unable to sleep, and this time he’d risen early for a ride through the estate on this, the last day of the year.

Crossfox was beautiful, with rolling hills, a small lake and enough woods to lose oneself in. Close enough to London to make the half-day’s journey easy, but far enough out that it was quiet. Peaceful.

How many wonderful times had he shared with Andrew here? And later with Andrew and Emily. They’d always included him in their fun. Of course, Andrew had never suspected Cav’s feelings for his wife. He had to assume that would have altered their friendship. Ended it.

He looked up on the hill. What was up there…that was really why he’d taken his ride out here this morning, no matter what other excuses he’d made about wanting to exercise his horse or needing the bracing enjoyment of a ride to clear his head.

No, he hadn’t come for those things. He’d come for this.

He climbed up the rise to the flat on top and caught his breath. This was the family plot, where the Rutledge line had planted their dead for decades, centuries even. He moved through the lines of well-tended headstones until he came to the most recent of their ranks.

“Andrew Rutledge, Tenth Viscount. Husband, Son, Friend,” he read out loud, and his stomach ached with every word.

Five years his friend had been in this hallowed ground, and sometimes it still felt like yesterday. The hole left in his heart was not one that would ever truly be filled. He’d accepted that a long time ago.

“I did something,” he said to the stone. His voice was shaky, as if he were admitting this to his friend in life, not death. “I knew you better than anyone, and you me, but I have no idea if you would accept it or rise from that grave to punch me in the face.”

The only sound was the distant rustle of leaves in the brisk breeze. “I hope you would consent.”

He shook his head and looked down toward the manor house in the distance. He found Emily’s window because he knew exactly which one it was, even from so far away. He let out his breath in a ragged sigh.

“I never made a move while you lived, you know. I loved her as you loved her, and I never would have said a thing. I would have watched you two be happy together until the end of time, and I would have smiled about it because you both deserved the devotion you found in each other.”

He rested a hand on the curve of the stone and clenched his fingers as intense grief washed through him. “But you’re not here