Mine to Keep (NOLA Knights #3) - Rhenna Morgan Page 0,94

to the process. “Better?” she said once they got him so his back was up against the headboard and his legs stretched out in front of him.

He nodded, but the way his breath was rattling in and out of his lungs, you’d have thought they’d made him sprint a mile under water. “Yeah. Better.”

Behind her, the mattress of the other bed groaned as if slowly taking on weight. Bonnie twisted and found Kevin curling up on his side in a fetal position facing away from them.

She sat on the bed next to her dad. “Looks like you’re not the only one in a bad place.”

Buzz huffed out a rough exhale. “He’s gonna hurt like hell for a week or two, but he’ll live. Those guys know what they’re doing. Broke a few ribs and probably rattled his brain more than they should’ve, but they weren’t out to kill him.” He shook his head and looked at his boy. “Fucking idiot.”

Harsh words considering how Kevin had paid for his actions, but there was love behind the statement, too. A kind of you might be an idiot, but you’re my idiot tone.

Bonnie let out a sigh and squeezed her dad’s hand. “I’m sorry we got you into this.”

He smiled, but it lacked any energy. “You didn’t get me into anything. And I’m the one that’s sorry.” His gaze got distant and a sadness that broke her heart settled over his face. “Made a lot of bad decisions in my life. Didn’t think about how my shit was gonna rub off on the two of you.” He shook his head and huffed out another broken chuckle. “But it sure rubbed off. Wouldn’t be here right now if I’d done better. About a lot of things.”

Bonnie blinked. Several times. As though the physical act might somehow bring clarity to his words. Her father wasn’t a reflective man. Never had been. At least not without the aid of a whole lot of booze and none of his friends around to keep his mind off dangerous thoughts.

“I owe you an apology,” he said so low it was almost a whisper. “I wronged you and your brother. Taught your brother how to find the easy way outta everything and you how to be afraid.”

That last tidbit stabbed a little too close for comfort. “I’m not afraid.”

“Yeah, ya are. You keep people at a distance. Keep to your schedule and watch every penny so you don’t have to risk bein’ like the fools you grew up with. Can’t blame you for it. You did the best you could with what ya had to work with, but that doesn’t mean I’m proud for puttin’ you in that place.”

Holy shit.

He’d really thought about this. Meant every word he’d said.

The realization and the awe that went with it rattled through her with all the finesse of a giant gong. So much so, she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the topic. “Well, one of us had to pinch a few pennies,” she joked. “The extra money came in handy a few times, you know?”

His mouth hardened more than Bonnie thought he’d have the strength for. “Not proud of that either. The way you save money, you oughta have a tidy savings by now. Be done with college and doin’ something you love. I stole that from you. So did your brother.”

He swallowed hard and looked straight in her eyes. “I’m dyin’, kiddo. It’s gonna happen. Soon.” His gaze slid to Kevin, who was either already dozing off or had completely given up, then back to Bonnie. “Hard not to face dyin’ without seein’ the things I was too stubborn to before. I put you in a bad place. Lots of times. Your mom and brother did, too. I can’t fix it. But I can tell you I’m sorry for it.”

Five minutes.

They’d talked five minutes at most. Traded maybe a dozen or more sentences.

But it was like opening a window in a smoke choked room to the relief of a bright spring day. Cleansing. Fresh. Hopeful.

“I...” Words wouldn’t come. Hell, thoughts wouldn’t either. There was just emotion. A huge wave of it that clogged the base of her throat and drew tears to her eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Nothing to say. Not for you anyway.” He frowned and jerked his head toward the door. “Except for explaining what that Rossi jerkoff said.”

Her mind went blank, the context of her conversation with Erick refusing to come back online after everything her father had