Ace is an asshole, I want to win this clean. I’m all for helping each other, but I’m not going to try to bring anyone down. I got too much on my mind to think about that.
We talk a little more, but eventually we’re all so tired that we drift to sleep. The sky is clear and filled with stars, and I’m so beat, I don’t dream. It feels like a blink, and suddenly a siren wails overhead. “Contestants up!” someone shouts. “Get ready!”
I sit bolt upright and look around. It’s even darker than before because clouds have moved in, covering the moon. And also because . . .
“No wonder I feel like I hardly slept,” Zach, the older guy, says, rubbing his hand through his receding hairline and looking at his watch. “It’s three in the morning.”
LOST IN A CORNFIELD
Nell
How do I feel? I think I slept on seven different rocks for a total of twelve minutes. I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast yesterday. And I’m covered in Jell-O. I guess I’m not very happy?
—Nell’s Confessional, Day 2
Scraping my hair back into a ponytail and putting my glasses on, I stumble out of the tent but struggle to see anything but darkness. What time is it?
Will Wang’s annoyingly peppy voice is coming through a bullhorn, so I follow that, along with the other contestants.
“We are coming to you from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, where the Million Dollar Marriage contestants are about to embark on their first challenge. It’s three in the morning, so it’s time to get this underway!”
I have no idea what I look like, but I feel like death. I keep blinking to try to stay awake. I’m still wearing the same lime-crusted, smelly clothes, and I didn’t have a chance to wash up this morning. This is cruel and unusual.
I make my way through the crowd and see Luke standing there, arms crossed. For someone who slept in the mud, he looks darn good. He spots me and gives me a grin. “Sleep well?”
I almost feel guilty for not sharing the tent with him. But it was a small tent. What was I supposed to do? Sleep on top of him?
My pulse skitters at the thought.
“Yes. You?”
“No complaints. You pumped?”
I nod. “Totally.”
“Brush your teeth?” He winks at me. “I hear that’s important.”
I frown at him. “Shut up.”
“How’s everyone doing this morning?” Will holds the mic up for our answer.
As tired as we all are, we manage to scream pretty loudly in reply. It’s freaking cold out, and I don’t see any trace of the sun getting ready to rise. I dig my hands into the pockets of my black ski jacket and jump up and down in my sneakers.
“Welcome, our nine couples, to the start of your Million Dollar Marriage race to the finish! At the end of each leg, you will reach a check-in or outpost, where you can rest and refuel for the next day’s activities. Do not stop until you’ve reached that check-in, or you will lose valuable time. The last couple to show up at each check-in will be eliminated, unless it is a non-elimination round. The order in which you arrive at each check-in will determine your starting time for the next leg of the journey.
“You are going to set off on the first part of the journey in three groupings of three. The order in which you set out will be determined by Marriage Test Number One.”
Marriage Test? That doesn’t sound good. I manage a look at Luke. His brow is low, his eyes focused. Total game face.
“What is a Marriage Test, you ask?” Will says, striding back and forth in front of us. “Well, you’ll have several of them throughout the journey, and they will award you crucial bonuses like earlier start times. You remember filling out your personal questionnaire before the show began? The Marriage Test will see how well your partner knows you and can answer your questions. First, women. Please step forward.”
I take a tentative step forward. I’m flanked by the older woman in leather and Marta, who can’t stop looking at one of her broken fingernails. A staff member comes along and hands us each what looks like an electronic wipe board.
“Ladies, you will have twenty seconds to write down how you think your spouse would complete this sentence: If I were stranded on a desert island, the one thing I’d take with me would be . . .” He pauses for effect, and my stomach