the seams of my jeans with my fingers, trying to distract myself from acknowledging that Lucas’s plan was working. Maybe my mind really was slowly unlocking the door to my memory vault. Was I ready to know the secrets that were stored there?
I closed my eyes, inhaled a calming breath full of pine and frost. Anxiety was understandable under these circumstances. Time to focus and move on.
Voice activation: Resume.
With that simple command, Mom’s soft, clear voice enveloped me.
“Dear Daniel—
“I know this is hard for you, and if there was some way I could ease your pain, I would in a heartbeat. But I can’t even ease my own.
“Yes, our daughter is gone, and sometimes, I wish I’d gone with her. It’s in those moments that I know, without a doubt, that we need to ensure her life doesn’t end in that fire. Sarah was special—you knew it, I knew it. Even Holland knew it. We’d be doing science a disservice if we didn’t take this opportunity. Even worse—we’d be doing Sarah a disservice.
“I’m begging you, please—I need this. I’m not ready to let her go. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I can live with that. What I can’t live without, right now, is a chance to see Sarah’s face again, alive.
“If you can’t do it for me, think of the others. General Holland says Sarah’s contribution might be the first step in helping them, and we can’t turn our backs, can we?
“I won’t leave her here by herself. You should come, if only to say good-bye. Sarah needs us to make this decision quickly. Her body won’t hold out much longer, even on life support.
“This is the right choice. I have to believe that. I am lost without this glimmer of a chance. Please, Dan.
“I miss my baby.”
The strong woman I remembered had usually been cool and collected, but these impassioned emails reminded me of the mom who’d urged me to live with her last breaths. The sound of her voice made her feel so real, so close.
For a hopeful, wonderful second, I thought I would open my eyes, and she’d be standing in front of me, her blond hair in that messy ponytail, her eyes a pale, serious blue behind square glasses.
“Mom?” I mouthed into the still air. The whisper of the wind was my only reply.
Of course there was no reply, because she was gone. Forever. All because of Holland. She’d trusted him, and he’d destroyed her.
I rubbed my palms across my damp eyes, drew in a shattered breath. Took a moment to compose myself. So, Mom had wanted to be involved with the MILA project from the very start, but what did she mean by “think of the others” and “Holland says Sarah’s contribution could be the first step in helping them”? Whatever he wanted, Holland was perfectly capable of manipulating a grieving parent to get it.
But what did Holland want? Did it have to do anything with the device he’d placed inside of me? Who were these people Nicole thought she was going to help? Did they even exist, or was Holland just feeding her some lie in order to take Sarah away?
I was about to analyze some more files in search of those answers, when a heavy crunch behind the trees registered in the back of my mind.
Lucas?
Footstep analysis: Inaccurate.
Estimated weight: 240 kg.
My head shot up. 240 kilograms? The only thing that might be close to that big was a—
Likely species: Ursus arctos horriblis.
The translation was instant.
Grizzly bear.
THREE
The crunching came from the trees thirty yards south of me. If it followed the same trajectory, the bear would head right for our snare.
But the snare wouldn’t do anything to the bear except really piss it off.
All our traps were made to catch small game, and grizzlies didn’t qualify.
My mechanical heartbeat quickened as I sprang up from the log, took a fear-fueled step in Lucas’s direction, then froze in place, my breaths coming fast and shallow. I felt trapped. I didn’t want to draw the bear’s attention. But I wanted to be close to Lucas, just in case. I didn’t dare call out a warning.
Crunch, crunch . . . SNAP!
The snare sprang shut.
I peered toward the sound, but dense green branches blocked my view, so I listened instead. It was like the entire forest had gone still, holding its collective breath in anticipation of something terrible. Even the jays had stopped squawking.
Following nature’s lead, I went statue-still. I couldn’t give in to the impulse to move