middle of a field, a helicopter was revealed, dormant for now on top of a landing square.
I climbed out of the car, marching just ahead of Holland and Lucas. The doors on the other van opened, and two men emerged with Daniel. Holland told us the plan.
“The three of us are going in the Huey. Dave and Brady will stay behind with Daniel, just to be safe. We’re just waiting for Grassi. Stay there, against the wall.” He jerked his gun at the white aluminum building behind us. I slid down the wall, resigning myself to the inevitable.
Brady came over, dumping Lucas in a heap beside me. I helped him sit up, trying to fight back tears.
“Don’t cry,” Lucas said. “Not over me. You’ve had enough sadness for one short life.”
That only made my eyes fill up more. Even in this state, in bonds and beaten, Lucas worried about me.
“You two want to be together so much, here’s your chance,” Holland taunted us. I couldn’t stand the mocking. But I also couldn’t stand to lose the possibility.
Lucas caught the intent in my eyes, and just the very edges of his lips curved up. I laugh-sobbed and with one hand, gently cupped his cheek.
And then my lips touched Lucas’s and for the moment at least, Holland faded away.
For these few, shining moments, it would be just the two of us. Sharing something bright and warm, full of the good parts of humanity.
Lucas’s mouth moved over mine, or mine over his. I wasn’t sure and I didn’t care. I grasped his shoulders and pulled him close, trying to press into him a lifetime of wanting and need.
Trying to absorb a lifetime in return, to carry with me in my final moments. His body, his scent, the soft graze of his eyelashes against mine. The way, even now, he let me take the lead when I wanted. Everything about him, and us, felt right. Full of possibility. A partnership born of complete acceptance.
The kiss joined us, forged a bond that neither Holland nor his goons nor anyone else could touch. I wanted to sink into this moment, into Lucas, and remain here forever.
Holland had other ideas.
Rough hands grabbed my shoulders and I gasped. Too soon, it was too soon.
The last press of his lips was salty with tears: his or mine, I wasn’t sure. And then I let the hands pull us apart. The last I felt of Lucas was the sensation of his fingertips slip-sliding against mine, until even that tiny bit of contact was lost.
I remained calm.
For one moment, I had been at peace.
“Abominations, both of you,” Holland said. “Where the hell is Grassi?”
Brady shrugged. “He hasn’t checked back in yet. Maybe his phone died.”
While Holland cursed Grassi and Brady out for carrying half-charged phones on assignment, Tim’s face flashed in my mind. The way he’d refused to show any expression. His rise in pulse. The army pin, planted at the scene of the fire. What was he trying to say?
“Why didn’t you come sooner?” I asked Holland. “You could have found us before we uncovered your plan.”
“I would have, if Lucas had checked in with his brother sooner,” Holland growled.
“My brother? What does Tim have to do with this?”
Holland’s grin sharpened as he smelled blood. “Didn’t I mention it? He’s the one who helped me track you down.”
“What? No . . .” Lucas sagged against his captor, his pale face going gray. “I can’t believe . . .” His anguish was a horrible thing to witness. “Mila, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Not to me, not for things that this monster has done. There is no shame in giving someone the benefit of the doubt. You thought Tim had changed.”
Lucas’s lashes were dark with tears when he looked at me. And then his eyes widened, just a little. He mouthed something at me.
“I did check in sooner.”
And apparently Tim hadn’t said a word to Holland.
Could he have wanted us to uncover Holland’s scheme?
Could he have left the pin at the fire, so someday someone could follow the trail?
Could he have wanted forgiveness? Redemption? More than anyone, I knew what that was like. I also knew I might never get the answers about Tim. But suddenly I felt differently about leaving the Montford kids in his care.
Holland’s gaze traveled between the two of us. He didn’t know what had passed between us, but he didn’t like it.
“New plan. We’re leaving Grassi and getting on now. Brady, start it up and get Lucas