see action … might even die. I couldn’t live with the thought of never seeing you again and trying to apologize one more time.”
“But why … what …?”
“Why didn’t I follow through?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I saw you on campus.”
Shock … and something else flared in her green eyes. “You did?”
His mind went back to that day, remembering it as one of the worst days in his existence. Considering that he’d had some damn bad days, that meant something. She had been sitting on a bench, beneath a tree. Her hair had been pulled away from her face with a barrette, highlighting the incredible purity of her skin. At first he had just stood and looked, thinking she was even more beautiful than she’d been the last time he saw her. Finally the need to be close to her, to touch her, had moved his feet forward. She was reading a book, completely unaware of her surroundings. He’d been about three yards away from her when he’d heard someone shout her name. Zach had stopped in his tracks. She had looked up and waved at the man who came running toward her. The smile of welcome on her face had stolen his breath, but it was watching her go into the guy’s arms that had almost brought him to his knees. The man had swung her in the air. Then Zach heard her laugh—it was one of joy and intimacy. He had backed away, disappearing quickly and quietly. That was the day he’d given up hope and let her go for good.
“Zach?”
She was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. He suddenly regretted telling her. What was she supposed to do with that information? He had no right to question whether she was still seeing the guy. He’d given up that right.
Still, he had come this far. “You were sitting under a tree, on a park bench. You wore a blue sundress, tan sandals with a little blue flower on them, and your nails were painted a pale pink color.”
“You were that close?”
He nodded, unable to speak as the pain in his gut traveled up to his chest.
“Why, Zach? Why wouldn’t you tell me you were there?”
Though full disclosure felt like a knife ripping into his belly, she deserved the truth. “I was about to when a guy called out your name. You smiled at him and went into his arms. You both looked so damn happy.” He shrugged. “I knew I was too late.”
* * *
Stunned, Savannah sat glued to her chair, barely breathing. Part of her wanted to get up and run, hide from those piercing gray eyes that had always seen through her. Another part wanted to pull him close and hold him next to her heart. He wasn’t bothering to hide his pain, the despair he had felt.
What would she have done if she had spotted him that day? Would she have run to him or away? After working so hard to regain her health and sanity, would seeing him have put her back on the edge again? Or would it have healed her completely? She would never know.
She remembered that day and that moment quite well. How odd that Zach had been there to witness it. “He was a friend, Zach. Nothing more. He was flunking one of his classes … I helped him prepare for his final. That was the day he learned that he’d passed. He came to thank me. That’s all.”
The agony in his eyes was her undoing. She walked around the table and, without asking permission, sat in his lap and wrapped her arms around him.
For a moment he was frozen and she wondered if she had done the wrong thing. Then, as if a dam burst, he held her tight against him as he buried his face in her hair. “I am so damn sorry, Savannah. About everything.”
Oh God, this hurt. Tears pricked her eyes and her throat closed with shared grief. “Zach … I need to tell—”
The radio, attached to Zach’s right shoulder, squawked, “Chief Tanner?”
Savannah didn’t know whose sigh was the loudest or more ragged, hers or Zach’s. His arms loosened with reassuring reluctance and she went to her feet.
“I’m here. What’s up?”
“Ethel Mae Hendrix called. Said somebody busted out the windows of her delivery van and wrote something nasty on the side of it. Arthur and Bart are out on calls.”
“Okay. I’ll head over there now.” He stood and said, “I’ve got to go.”