The Midnight Library - Matt Haig Page 0,59
at all.
‘Howl’
To the winter forest
And nowhere to go
This girl runs
From all she knows
The pressure rises to the top
The pressure rises (it won’t stop)
They want your body
They want your soul
They want fake smiles
That’s rock and roll
The wolves surround you
A fever dream
The wolves surround you
So start the scream
Howl, into the night,
Howl, until the light,
Howl, your turn to fight,
Howl, just make it right
Howl howl howl howl
(Motherfucker)
You can’t fight for ever
You have to comply
If your life isn’t working
You have to ask why
(Spoken)
Remember
When we were young enough
Not to fear tomorrow
Or mourn yesterday
And we were just
Us
And time was just
Now
And we were in
Life
Not rising through
Like arms in a sleeve
Because we had time
We had time to breathe
The bad times are here
The bad times have come
But life can’t be over
When it hasn’t begun
The lake shines and the water’s cold
All that glitters can turn to gold
Silence the music to improve the tune
Stop the fake smiles and howl at the moon
Howl, into the night,
Howl, until the light,
Howl, your turn to fight,
Howl, just make it right
Howl howl howl howl
(Repeat to fade)
Love and Pain
‘I hate this . . . process,’ Nora told Mrs Elm, with real force in her voice. ‘I want it to STOP!’
‘Please be quiet,’ said Mrs Elm, with a white knight in her hand, concentrating on her move. ‘This is a library.’
‘We’re the only two people here!’
‘That’s not the point. It is still a library. If you are in a cathedral, you are quiet because you are in a cathedral, not because other people are there. It’s the same with a library.’
‘Okay,’ Nora said, in a lower voice. ‘I don’t like this. I want it to stop. I want to cancel my membership of the library. I would like to hand in my library card.’
‘You are the library card.’
Nora returned to her original point. ‘I want it to stop.’
‘No you don’t.’
‘Yes I do.’
‘Then why are you still here?’
‘Because I have no choice.’
‘Trust me, Nora. If you really didn’t want to be here, you wouldn’t be here. I told you this right at the start.’
‘I don’t like it.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it is too painful.’
‘Why is it painful?’
‘Because it’s real. In one life, my brother is dead.’
The librarian’s face became stern again. ‘And in one life – one of his lives – you are dead. Will that be painful for him?’
‘I doubt it. He doesn’t want anything to do with me these days. He has his own life and he blames me that it is unfulfilled.’
‘So, this is all about your brother?’
‘No. It’s about everything. It seems impossible to live without hurting people.’
‘That’s because it is.’
‘So why live at all?’
‘Well, in fairness, dying hurts people too. Now, what life do you want to choose next?’
‘I don’t.’
‘What?’
‘I don’t want another book. I don’t want another life.’
Mrs Elm’s face went pale, like it had done all those years ago when she’d got the call about Nora’s dad.
Nora felt a trembling beneath her feet. A minor earthquake. She and Mrs Elm held onto the shelves as books fell to the floor. The lights flickered and then went dark completely. The chessboard and table tipped over.
‘Oh no,’ said Mrs Elm. ‘Not again.’
‘What’s the matter?’
‘You know what the matter is. This whole place exists because of you. You are the power source. When there is a severe disruption in that power source the library is in jeopardy. It’s you, Nora. You are giving up at the worst possible moment. You can’t give up, Nora. You have more to offer. More opportunities to have. There are so many versions of you out there. Remember how you felt after the polar bear. Remember how much you wanted life.’
The polar bear.
The polar bear.
‘Even these bad experiences are serving a purpose, don’t you see?’
She saw. The regrets she had been living with most of her life were wasted ones.
‘Yes.’
The minor earthquake subsided.
But there were books scattered everywhere, all over the floor.
The lights had come back on, but still flickered.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Nora. She started trying to pick up the books and put them back in place.
‘No,’ snapped Mrs Elm. ‘Don’t touch them. Put them down.’
‘Sorry.’
‘And stop saying sorry. Now, you can help me with this. This is safer.’
She helped Mrs Elm pick up the chess pieces and set up the board for a new game, putting the table back in place too.
‘What about all the books on the floor? Are we just going to leave them?’
‘Why do you care? I thought you wanted them to disappear completely?’
Mrs Elm may well have just been a mechanism that existed in order to simplify the intricate