not have a big ass,” grumped Kinkly. “I have a pert, tiny ass.”
I kept my eyes on her, not wanting to be distracted. “Seriously, how are we making this happen?” Had they emptied out the lube and replaced it with a magic potion that would make me smaller, maybe even Kinkly’s size? I could slide through the bars, and we’d be gone before anyone noticed. That’s what I would have tried, anyway.
Apparently my ragtag crew of friends weren’t so much into subtlety.
Kinkly unscrewed the lid of the Boy Butter jar, slid on the tiniest pair of gloves, then reached in and scooped out the thick paste, smearing it up and down the bars in a move that would make a stripper envious of her skills. Of course, she had to throw in a few body rolls up and down, just to add to the image.
I grabbed the edge of the window and with a jump and a serious strain on my shoulder and back muscles, pulled myself up for a better look, thinking I was missing something. Okay, so I ended up barely getting my nose above the edge, but it was enough. “Kink, what are you doing? Even with lube I won’t squeeze through.”
Alan stepped up to the window and shot me a look. “She’s right. Even though she lost some weight, she’s still no skinny mini. Kind of thick in the middle if you know what I mean.”
My hand snaked out and I grabbed his ear, something I seemed to have a knack for with the ghosts. “I may not have a bag to stuff you in, but I’m sure I could cram you into my boot.”
He swatted at me ineffectively, but I let him go.
Kinkly kept on smearing the bars. “Don’t worry. Corb and Sarge came up with this idea. They think it’s the best chance we’ve got, and I agree with them.”
I squinted my eyes. “What about Suzy and Eric? Did they think it was a good idea?”
“Oh, no.” Kinkly grinned at me. “Corb said he ran it by them, and they thought it was a terrible plan. So Corb told them to get lost, and they did. You know the bigfoot though. He’s not terribly brave, even if he is loyal and smart.”
I wasn’t sure I agreed with her assessment, but then I suspected that Kinkly might have finally realized that Eric had been more than a little interested in her. She’d shot him down, thinking it was a joke, and . . .well, he had moved on with Suzy. Kinkly had the whole “I don’t really want him, but I don’t want you to have him” vibe going on.
I sighed. Later. I could help them with their love lives later, but only if I was still alive and free of this cell. Gawd help me, I’d tackle any weird love life right then if it meant I was getting out.
Kinkly pulled off her gloves and laid them at the base of one of the bars. “You’re going to want to step back for this next part.”
I didn’t move. Maybe my brain didn’t quite process what she’d said, or maybe I just couldn’t imagine that Corb would pull off a stunt so big. A breakout so epic in style there was no way I’d not be missed.
A faint sizzle curled through the air and then came the sulfur smell of a freshly lit match.
“Oh, you better get down,” Edna said in my ear. She pushed me, which was impressive, her being a ghost and all, more so that it was hard enough to knock me to the ground a split second before the world exploded in a shower of stone, mortar, and bits of steel bars.
The roar that ripped through the air made my ears ring and my chest feel like it had been kicked by a donkey. Hot flecks of something or other from the explosion landed on my back, and I yelped and rolled to either side to fling it off, only I wasn’t sure if I made a sound or not since my ears were dead. I started to get to my hands and knees, dust and smoke filling the air, obscuring the world.
Maybe I could have stood on my own—it’s hard to say—but I didn’t get a chance to try. A mouth full of teeth appeared out of the smoke and clamped down on the chain connecting my handcuffs. The werewolf attached to those teeth took off running, dragging me over