Merry Misrule - St. Clair, Ellie Page 0,60

opened the wardrobe and ripped out the few dresses she had brought with her, stuffing them, along with the rest of her meagre belongings, into her valise.

At least, out of all of this, Caroline had found her happy ending. She had discovered enough love for both of them.

Joanna had snuck in through the servants’ entrance, and they had been respectful enough of her to promise to keep her secret. She figured they considered her as much one of them as she was one of the guests she had dined with each night.

She just needed to get out of here without anyone knowing she had arrived. That way she could avoid any questions about her absence, as well as that of Caroline’s.

She took one final look around the room, and opened the door to leave.

Only to find that there was no way out.

The entrance was filled with a man, tall, broad, dark, and angry.

Joanna hated the fact that underneath the anguish his presence caused her was a deep yearning for him all over again.

One of his hands now came up against the top of the doorjamb as he stared down at her.

“E-Elijah,” she stammered, feeling rather lost for words. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

He lifted his brows.

“What am I doing here? Well, first off, I live here. Secondly, I’m here to keep you from leaving.”

Her jaw dropped. “Keep me from leaving? I think that opportunity passed this morning, when I woke up alone and found that you had not only bedded me and left me, but that it was all to win some stupid bet against your brother.”

She was not normally one to be overcome by anger, but now she was fueled by hurt at his absence. “How could you do such a thing?” she said, near tears.

“Joanna…” he held his hands up as he stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. “Calm yourself and listen.”

“Calm myself?” she repeated, narrowing her eyes at him. “You cannot be serious?”

“I understand you’re angry, but I am too,” he insisted. “How could you believe such a thing about me?”

“How? I will tell you how. You are the same man who made me kiss a dog in front of all of your friends. Who caused me to lose a pocket watch that meant more than I could ever properly explain. Who placed coal in my stocking. Who says he is changed but just the other day pranked his brother into making a fool of himself.”

Elijah hung his head, scratched his temple, dug his toe into the carpet, before finally looking up at her.

“You’re right. I am all of those things. But…”

“But what?”

“I want to be more. I want to be better. You make me want to be that way.”

“Well, I don’t seem to be doing a very good job of it, for as far as I can see, nothing has changed. You make fun at other people’s expense, and then think that an apology can make everything better. Well, that won’t work with me, Elijah. Not anymore. You are not the man that I thought you were, that I thought you could be. I promised my grandmother when she passed that I would never settle, that I would live the life I wanted, that I would find the most happiness that I could ask for. I thought…” her voice caught, but she swallowed the sob and carried on, “I thought that could be with you, but I was wrong. Now, please move. Let me leave. Let me go back to my life — the life that may not be the Christmas fairy tale to be found here at Briercrest, but is a life that I made for myself and that I deserve. Can you do that? Please?”

He didn’t move for a moment. His head lifted and his eyes caught hers, and for a moment what she saw was such pain, pleading, and supplication that she nearly apologized, gave in, and told him that she had been wrong and that she would choose her desperate longing for him over her own happiness.

But she remembered her grandmother, remembered her words of always choosing what would bring happiness. And she held strong.

“Very well,” he said quietly, “if that is what you want.”

She could only nod.

He dipped his head, stepped to the side, and she picked up her bag and ran out of his life forever.

Joanna could hardly breathe. She was running away from the house, down the path to the stables, knowing she would have