Merry Measure - Lily Morton Page 0,27
says.
Bee winks at me and then gives my brother a big smile when he faces us. “I’m going to get ready, Tom,” he informs him. “And I noticed that the hotel has their own mascot bear called Daan. After hearing about your childhood exploits, I’m now wondering if we’ve got time to fit in a threesome with Daan.”
Tom shakes his head. “I’m not sure if I ever found you funny, Bee, but it’s a certainty that it’s worn off now.”
Bee cackles and saunters off. Tom watches him go, an affectionate look on his face. His expression becomes serious when he turns back to us. “I know what you’re doing, and I want to say thank you,” he says solemnly.
Eep!
Jack’s hand comes to rest on my back. “And what is that?” he asks, his voice surprisingly steady.
Tom shrugs. “You’re being odd so Bee won’t smell a rat about the proposal.”
I stare at my brother. He must be the single most oblivious person walking this earth.
“Yep, you’ve caught us,” I say as Jack hides a smile. “Just being odd.”
“Well, you’re exceptionally good at it.” Tom grins at Jack. “I’m here because Freddy and Diana just got back. They went to that sex shop up the road. Come and have a look at the size of the dildo Diana bought. She says it’s a birthday present for her grandma, and I can’t work out whether she’s taking the piss or not.”
I’m buggered if I can think of what might stop him from towing Jack away on the Great Dildo Quest. But I need Jack because I was about to give him a blowjob, would likely give Tom apoplexy. Instead, I stand back and let Jack pass me.
I detect an element of exasperation in his otherwise stoic expression. I hope I do, anyway.
After they leave, I look down at my briefs that started this problem. “I’m never dancing to Missy Elliott again,” I say mournfully. “She’s obviously a bad-luck artist for me.”
Seven
Arlo
You’d think that after sharing that kiss, Jack and I would spend the rest of the evening talking about it and shagging like rabbits. Unfortunately, and entirely in keeping with my luck, that is not what happens.
Instead, Jack returned to our room to get changed for dinner, and my brother tagged along to chat about absolutely nothing. I’d directed a fulminating glare at him as he sprawled restfully on my bed, but it was useless. He’s allergic to recognising my displeasure with him. It’s why so many of our arguments as kids escalated very quickly from hissed words to something approaching the finale of Game of Thrones.
Even at dinner, Jack and I couldn’t catch a break. We’d ended up sitting far away from each other, but I suppose if we’d have been close, I might have tackled him and ridden him like a Grand National winner.
And now we’re in a club, and Jack’s talking to Freddy at the bar, while I stand with Bee and Diana and try not to look at Jack. I’m failing, as my gaze drifts to him every three seconds. My heartbeat picks up when I look again and find him staring back at me. For a second, the club with its bright lights and loud music falls away.
Then Freddy says something, and Jack turns reluctantly back to him.
“Gosh, the UST is overpowering in here,” Diana says, fanning herself.
“Is that something I’ll need penicillin for?” I ask, taking the shot that Bee hands me. “I’ve still got a drink,” I say. “Why are you giving me more?”
Bee rolls his eyes. He’s dressed in skinny black jeans and a form-fitting black T-shirt that hugs his slender body. I’ve seen a few blokes looking at him, but he’s endearingly oblivious. It seems to be a character trait, because Tom had to work very hard to get Bee’s attention. But now that he has it, I don’t think he’ll ever lose it. Bee gets heart-eyes when he looks at my brother.
Bee leans in closer. “I’m giving you alcohol so you can try to take your eyes off Jack.”
“I’m not looking at Jack,” I say quickly.
“Is it Freddy?” Diana says sympathetically. “Because I really don’t think he’s for you. You’d have to be a superhero to keep up with his sexual stamina.”
“A phrase I could have happily gone through life without hearing,” I say, and Diana shrugs prettily. I down the shot and wince. “What the fuck is that?”
“Blowjob,” Bee says. “A complete misnomer, if you ask me. Semen tastes nothing like that,