Merry Cherry Christmas - Keira Andrews Page 0,76
now to spot that.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” He tried for a smile himself. “I’m surprised there’s even service out here.”
“Didn’t used to be.” Max hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “It’s dark. We should get back or they’ll worry.”
“Okay. Are you sure—”
“It’s fine!” Max snapped. He inhaled sharply. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“Oh.” Jeremy nodded and went back to rolling the blankets. He kept his head down, telling himself not to get upset. Not to feel ridiculously hurt.
Tense silence stretched out as they packed up. Jeremy had felt incredible—waking from a doze warm and snug in Max’s arms. After they had full-on sex. He’d had sex. His ass was sore in the best way, and Max had been so considerate, and everything had been perfect.
Max said with forced cheer, “Ready to head back?”
This was the part where Jeremy was supposed to go along with it and act like nothing was wrong. Max had apologized. Jeremy should just leave it alone. They were still getting to know each other. It wasn’t his place to pry. But pretending was what he’d been doing with his parents.
He didn’t want to be civil with Max.
He took a deep breath. “Maybe it’s none of my business, but I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong. I want to help.”
Max sighed. “Baby, you have enough to worry about.”
Jeremy motioned to the hearth. “I thought we had a connection. Not just sex. The things we did together—it was special to me. You brought me home with you for Christmas. I know we just met, but…” He ordered himself to stop talking. He was going to ruin everything.
He’d never been more vulnerable with another person. Not his parents or Sean, or any friends. He’d opened up to Max completely. Body and soul. Maybe he wasn’t being fair, but Max’s silence felt like a slap in the face. Like rejection.
Max was shaking his head with a pinched expression. Jeremy barreled on. “I know you have this whole fairy godfather thing. And I love how protective and sweet you are. But I don’t want it to be one-sided. I’ve told you so many things. Big things. After what we just did, it hurts that you’re not telling me what’s upsetting you. I trust you. Don’t you trust me?”
He ran out of steam, sucking in a breath in the silence and staring at the blanket gripped in his hands. Maybe he was being ridiculous. Max didn’t owe him anything. When he’d invited Jeremy for the holidays, he’d explicitly said it was only as friends. Even if Jeremy had felt closer to him than anyone else in the world, he was probably being an over-emotional loser. So many people had sex like it was nothing. Even if it felt like everything to him.
Kneeling on the hearth, Max took hold of Jeremy’s shoulders. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m being dramatic. My mom says I overreact.”
Max huffed. “That’s rich coming from her.” He lifted Jeremy’s chin with one finger, his brown eyes sincere. “Honestly? I haven’t talked to anyone about this. I’m afraid you’ll think I’m a selfish asshole. Because I feel like one. And I don’t want you to think that. I want you to like me.”
“I do. I like you more than anyone.”
Max smiled, puffing out a breath. “I like you too. So, so much.”
“Are you seeing someone else or something?” Jeremy wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but he had to ask.
“What? No, nothing like that.” Max peered at him seriously. “Honestly. What’s wrong isn’t about you and me.” He pulled out his phone. “I got another email notification. LSAT people reminding me to look at my results.”
“Oh! They came in?” Jeremy blinked. “But you don’t want to look.”
In the dying embers of the fire, Max’s face was half in shadow. “Correct.” He tapped his phone, the screen lighting up. “Before, I just wanted the results already. Now I’m afraid to look at them.”
“Even if you didn’t do as well as you’d like, you can take them again, can’t you?”
Max stared at the home screen. “I can. The problem is, I’m not sure what I’m really afraid of at this point. Part of me hopes I bombed and the choice is out of my hands. I mean, yeah, I can take them again and the schools I’ve applied to won’t have made a decision yet. But it feels like, if I did badly, that’s a sign or something.”
Jeremy pondered it. It